When he got back to his house, he saw creepy-looking guys on the front steps, so he walked to Seventh Avenue, intending to call Susan. Suddenly there was a knife up against his throat, and a man held him and said, “If you don’t want to die, do whatever I say” – all this while people were walking past him, and none of them called the police.
Teresa and Michael seem pretty comfortable in their relationship. At times, he can be nasty to her, but he does it in a playful way. “Isn’t he mean?” she asked me. “No, I’m cute,” said Michael. “He’s cute,” I said. And Michael said, “Sure, he’s not going to say I’m mean because he doesn’t want to spend the whole summer with you.” The man is correct.
People published three letters on the celebrity shortage article. The final letter said: “My hat’s off to Richard Grayson and Fred Bernstein for writing this wonderful piece of humor and to People for publishing it. Please let’s have some more of this heartwarming satire!” – Phyllis Diller, Los Angeles
We were fooling around and I joked, “You’re the most boring person ever met.” “Well, I don’t tell you everything I do,” he said. Why did I make such an insensitive remark? Probably because I felt that Mark never showed the interest in me that I did in him. But I was childish and cruel and hurtful, and I don’t feel good about it.
At 5:30 AM, I got the paper from my door and found my photo on the first page of the Herald’s Broward section. “Writer Rejects Senior Benefits” was the headline. I still haven’t heard from the Human Relations Division, but I did hear from WINZ who woke me up at 8:30 AM after I’d fallen back asleep, calling to ask for an interview.
“America’s Celebrity Shortage” is definitely a funny piece. It’s so rare for People to use freelancers (Fred told me it had been so long that he had to go look into how much I was going to get paid) that I should consider myself lucky. I can put the credit on my résumé and the $1500 in the bank.
9 PM. I just got home and I’m very tired. Jonathan called and said I was on The CBS Evening News tonight. They identified me as a writer and spoke about my complaint, but I got only one sentence of air time. Still, it was a witty remark: “What’s good for the goose is good for the gosling.”
I filed a complaint of age discrimination with the Broward County Human Relations Board against AmeriFirst Savings and Loan Association for refusing me their “AmeriPlus 55” program. I’ve got the radio on, and right now they’re talking about me, “live from the Broward County Courthouse” – I can’t believe it: this was the lead story on the news!
Everything would just be easier if she were seeing a guy, the way it was when she was seeing Jordan. Then we could just be friends. I love her and I’ll always be attracted to her, but she needs more than I can give. It’s real sad, I guess, but maybe things will work out.
I worked out (shoulders and triceps) while watching The Empire Strikes Back, the second of the Star Wars movies. It was pretty corny, but like all American boys, I identified with Luke Skywalker. (In addition, I think Mark Hamill is cute.)