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A Writer’s Diary Entries From Late October, 1986

Abby Rubenfeld called the impact of the Hardwick case “devastating,” but she put it in perspective and outlined a possible legal challenge to Florida’s sodomy law. The two law students sitting next to me admitted they were afraid to come because people would think they were gay; they didn’t want to get in the TV camera’s range. Well, at least they attended.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Mid-October, 1986

The rabbi told the story of a 19-year-old poet destined for greatness who every winter would walk on a certain pond until one year the ice cracked and he drowned. “The ice didn’t know a great poet was walking on it,” the rabbi said. “You see, the ice never knows. . . nature is completely unaware of us.”

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Early October, 1986

There’s a very pretty girl – about 22, I guess – who lives here. Last night her mother said, “My daughter thinks you’re very handsome.” “Has she seen an optometrist lately?” was my lame reply, but when I spoke to Delia today as she was sunning herself in front of their townhouse in a red bikini, I felt excited. I mean, I’m gay, but I’m not that gay.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Late September, 1986

Superstitiously, I would always imagine every conceivable disaster before an event, and I’d drive myself crazy, hoping that would take away any real disaster. How many times in my life have I approached a situation that made me anxious and got so crazy beforehand that reality could never have been so bad?

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Early September, 1986

Yesterday, when I went to fill out the car insurance forms, the woman at the office asked my occupation. I gave it as “writer,” but she misinterpreted my New York accent and wrote down “rider.” I guess maybe because this is Davie, she thought I was with the rodeo. Do I actually look like a cowboy?

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Late August, 1986

Killing time, I went to the Grand Army Plaza library, where, to my surprise, I found Volume 38 of Contemporary Literary Criticism. In it are entries for John Irving, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Ntozake Shange, Truman Capote, Peter Handke, Claude Levi-Strauss, George S. Kaufman, Christopher Durang, J.R.R. Tolkein – and me!

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Mid-August, 1986

Scott came over late last night after he “broke [his] girlfriend’s heart” by breaking up with her. She was so upset by the unexpected breakup that he “had to take her out for a drive to Brooklyn,” where they talked on the Promenade. Jeez. The girl probably didn’t know what hit her.

A Writer’s Diary Entries From Late July, 1986

There’s a little patch of Band-Aid on my arm where my blood was taken for the AIDS antibody test. Perhaps in as early as a week, I’ll know if I’ve been exposed to the AIDS virus. Dr. Rundle, the gay doctor I went to, told me to sign a fictitious name to the consent form. I signed it “William F. Buckley, Jr.”

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