A 20-Year-Old’s Diary Entries From June, 1971

Thursday, June 3, 1971

I am still at a loss to explain last night’s aberration — if it indeed was an aberration. I probably brought it on myself. I’ve been driving myself too hard, I didn’t see Dr. Wouk in two weeks, and some things have been building up for some time now.

It was really scary to stand up at the Assembly meeting and get so dizzy that things spun around and I wanted to faint. Part of us was that they’d locked the doors and I felt trapped and claustrophobic, like when I would get my anxiety attacks in high school every day when teachers would close the classroom door.

But it may also not have been a coincidence that my dizziness came on while Ira was explaining why he allocated no money to the Gay People group. My homosexual tendencies, under control for weeks, may be coming to the surface again.

I do love Shelli (don’t I?), but God damn it, I am still attracted to boys. I realize that one can’t turn heterosexual overnight, but I thought I’d no longer be having gay desires. I suppose I must conclude that I am, and always will be, bisexual.

And I’ve got to learn to live with it, the way Brad or Consuelo has. But I feel I’m being unfair to Shelli, and she doesn’t need any more problems.

Anyway, all these tensions contributed to no sleep last night. I had a terrible tension headache during the night and it pounded my head throughout the day today. I realize it’s nothing physical, unless it’s sinusitis, which I do have — but I don’t think that sinusitis would have caused the dizziness.

Shelli and I spoke on the telephone several times during the day. “You’re not a daddy,” she said this morning after she had her period. Shelli wanted to know what to get me for my birthday tomorrow. I said her love was enough.

Most of the day I lay in bed, listening to soap operas with their endless intrigues. I guess I was wrong in looking at life as if it were a soap opera. It may be, but it’s also comedy, tragedy and other art forms.

This is my last night as a teenager.

Friday, June 4, 1971

My twentieth birthday was a hot and humid day. My eyes and head hurt very much, even after a good night’s sleep. I have bad congestion in my sinuses and felt headachy all day – maybe my dizzy spell was related to the sinus problem – but I tried not to let it spoil my birthday.

Since I was ill today, Shelli said she’d come over. Mom left me $25, a birthday gift from her and Dad. I went out to the backyard, sunning myself by the pool. Shelli came outside, giving me a kiss and my present, a beautiful skinny-rib knit shirt in several colors.

Her card was beautiful:

A rainy night in Prospect Park

I realized I love you.

I’d never loved anyone as I loved you then.

I love you more now.

I can’t believe anyone could make another

As happy as you’ve made me.

I loved being with her, talking quietly in the yard, in the hot sun (I got very tan.) She was having trouble with her period, so we just kissed and made out, which was enjoyable enough.

I got a lot of birthday cards: sentimental ones from my grandparents; funny ones from Mom and Dad, my brothers, and Gary; a cute one from Alice; and a surprise, a card from Brad that read:

I wish we were together. . .

Hand in hand . . .

Arm in arm . . .

Shelli must have wondered a little about that, but I think she understood. I’m going to call Brad. It’s not possible that he’s been in love with me all these years, is it?

After dinner, Shelli and I took a long drive tonight, smiling and laughing and making each other happy. When I kissed her good night, I realized I never thought I’d be so happy.

Monday, June 7, 1971

A very hot, hazy day: the temperature soared into the 90°s. Some municipal workers, angered over the state legislature’s refusal to support a pension plan, snarled traffic all day by walking off their jobs at 28 drawbridges and leaving them in the up position and inoperable.

The strikers threaten to escalate their actions and threaten our water supply. Mayor Lindsay may call out the National Guard. Well, things in New York were a little dull lately and this may start people’s adrenaline flowing.

Before class, I found Shelli in LaGuardia, showing my baby picture to everyone. Dick was there because last term he failed Phys Ed and now has to take volleyball in summer school in order to graduate.

My professor for Poli Sci 37, Political Parties and Interest Groups, Mr. Gluck, seems like a bastard, but maybe he’ll get better. After Shelli and I bought books, we had cokes with Ray, who’s got to talk with Father Jim to get permission to take two Ed courses he’s teaching this fall.

Alice began her new job, working in the admissions office. Elihu’s leaving for Europe for the summer this Friday with Jerry (who told me that he hopes that Elihu doesn’t “cling” to him too long, that they need to travel separately). Elspeth gave me my birthday present: a bottle of lime cologne, for which I thanked her with a kiss.

Back at my house, Shelli forgot to bring her bathing suit (she’s embarrassed to wear one, anyway), so she just dipped her legs into the pool, but it was hot and I went in; Mom and my brothers were out at the pool, too. Jonny’s doctor said his eczema will clear up when he’s older, but I don’t know if he means when Jonny is 12 or 18 or when.

Eventually Shelli and I went back to my room, cleaned up, and made glorious, perfect love. Afterwards, fighting the heavy traffic caused by the disruptions on the Mill Basin and Marine Parkway bridges, we bought Mom an electric broom.

Gary called. He’s upset that the National Guard may be called out to run the drawbridges. Gary had been hoping to get a job selling encyclopedias for the summer.

Wednesday, June 9, 1971

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Things cooled off today, weatherwise, and also strikewise: the municipal employees returned to work. I had to struggle to get up so early, and I haven’t been doing all my reading for class.

This morning, Dick invited me to a party at his house on July 2. Mom, Dad and Jonny will be going to Paradise Island then. Shelli and I had planned to have her stay here during that week, but the idea didn’t go over very big with our parents. C’est la vie.

Elspeth was glowing this morning because Don is taking her to see The Trial of the Catonsville Nine tonight. In Poli Sci, we discussed the study of parties again; Mr. Gluck seems very hung up on methodology.

After class, I sat on the steps of LaGuardia with what is becoming the summer crowd: me, Shelli, Elspeth, Mikey, Terry, Slade, Ellen and Dick. Gary was there, too, though at this point Shelli and I are nauseated by him because he’s so dull and shallow and false.

Shelli and I aren’t too thrilled with Scott, either. We are looking forward to next week, when he leaves for California with Timmy. Then we can spend time with Avis without him. Avis told us that Timmy has been dating Stacy, something I saw coming a mile away. Scott and Avis showed us pictures of the Indian child in New Mexico that they’ve become the foster parents of.

At the Boylan Hall English Department bulletin boards, we ran into Renee. She needed some patterns and material to make a dress for a wedding, and Shelli, a sewing expert, advised her on things I know nothing about. (What the hell is Butterick? It sounds dirty.)

We went with Renee to Nostrand Avenue, where she looked at some patterns and rejected all of them. At the Junction, we saw Ray, who did get into Father Jim’s courses, and Leon, who said he was waiting for Charlie.

After lunch, we went to the house, to my bedroom. We made love: it was sweet and healthy sex, releasing tender feelings and built-up passions. God, I do love her.

We went poolside and did our readings for school, and then I took her to her first appointment with her new shrink, Dr. Russett, whose office is by the College Theater.

When she got out, we drove downtown, had dinner in Junior’s, and she accompanied me to Dr. Wouk’s office at Concord Village. She came in for the first part of the session and the three of us talked so he could get to know Shelli.

After she left the office, Dr. Wouk said she was sweet. He also said maybe she should take the Pill and asked me to examine why I think we love each other.

On the drive home, Shelli was depressed that maybe Dr. Wouk thought she was bad for me, but I reassured her – even though I was a bit unassured myself. After I took her for ice cream sodas at Jahn’s on Church and Flatbush, I drove her home.

I must call Brad. I also have to write to Kjell. And I’ve been meaning to call Mark, Jerry and Elihu, but I just can’t seem to find the time.

I just started reading The Greening of America. All I can say is “Wow!”

Sunday, June 13, 1971

I picked up Shelli in the early afternoon and we went over to her friend Melissa’s house in East Flatbush.

Melissa liked her birthday present, a fuzzy stuffed animal, and we talked with her for an hour. I find Melissa likable; she has a job as a secretary, but she probably could put her artistic talents to better use than that.

She kept telling us she can’t stand her boyfriend because he insults and uses her. Melissa said that her boyfriend was always jealous of Ivan and especially envious now that Ivan got a new car. But that wasn’t true, and I don’t know how that story got out.

After we left Melissa’s, we went to Capezio on Nostrand Avenue, where Shelli bought her shoes for Sindy’s wedding. The two of us had lunch at the Colonial Pancake Inn, then came home.

We went to my bedroom, where Shelli basically raped me, although I didn’t put up much resistance. It was very good today and a little rough. The best part of it was that Shelli had an orgasm too; it’s usually hard for her to get one. It felt so serene afterwards, I thought that was what heaven must be like.

Shelli is an angel without wings, a positively wonderful girl-woman. I left her in my room so she could get some reading done while I sat on the porch in the drizzle. After a bite to eat, we drove out to Kennedy Airport to see Elihu and Jerry off.

Elihu’s family was there — his parents are very nice, and his father is an English professor at Long Island University, and I like his brother – but Jerry was alone and looked upset. When I questioned him, he shrugged it off as “a personal problem.”

Leon and Jon Z were there, dressed in outlandish costumes: double-breasted jackets, top hats, medals and white gloves. Allan brought some dumb blonde, and Robert, Mason and Mikey were also there.

Elspeth told me that she now prefers Don to Greg, which makes me conclude that her taste is getting better.

We watched Elihu and Jerry get on the plane and take off for London. They gave us their mailing addresses. After I drove Shelli home, I watched the premiere of Père Goriot on Channel 13.

Tuesday, June 15, 1971

On campus early, I did some research for the “mini-paper” for Poli Sci. Avis told me their double-date with Stacy and Timmy didn’t come off last night, and instead she and Scott went to see One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which they enjoyed.

Dick happily reported that he failed his draft physical at Fort Hamilton yesterday. He, of course, is way overweight, and he also had high blood pressure.

In Poli Sci, we discussed party activists, with everyone contributing their own anecdotes because most of us have worked in campaigns by now. Prof. Gluck seems to be getting better every day.

Of course, what everyone was talking about today was the Times publishing the secret Pentagon reports that Johnson planned to bomb North Vietnam during the ’64 campaign while he was running as a “peace” candidate.

Shelli and I had lunch in Campus Corner, then went to the bookstore with Alex, who’s transferring to C.W. Post in September to study ecology. There, we also saw Allan and Steve, who keeps borrowing money from us.

At the public library, I got out some books for my essay, and then we came home. After we chatted for a while with Gisele, we went upstairs to my bedroom, where we made love. Each time it seems to get better. I feel I need Shelli and can never lose her.

Gary called to say his party was off because his mother found about it and put her foot down.

“He’s so stupid,” Shelli said. “One doesn’t send out RSVP’s to a party when one’s mother is in the dark about it.”

Thursday, June 17, 1971

This morning Avis said that Scott, Timmy and their friend left this morning, hitting the wide open spaces by car, going to the golden land of California: Big Sur and groovy places like that. Stacy has an obsession with California, like a bunch of young people in New York who can’t wait to leave here and move there after they graduate.

Alice invited Shelli and me to a going-away party for her before she goes to spend the summer in Spain with a family. Jeanne is throwing the party for Alice a week from Saturday.

In Poli Sci, we had a really great discussion in Poli Sci on presidential primaries. That’s my bag, and I really talked a lot. Sheila, in my class, said she and her new boyfriend are coming on Saturday to Gary’s party, now moved to the beach in Rockaway.

Dr. Russett told Shelli to get a job so that she could be more independent, so she went to Peter Amato’s office to see if he had anything available. He didn’t, but he put her to work doing something as a volunteer.

At lunch, Elspeth said that she and her prospective roommate Ray are looking for an apartment – but so far, no luck. The two of us got to talking to Susan, Ronna’s friend, who seemed less dense than I had thought. In fact, I like her a lot. She writes, too, and even keeps a diary.

Susan was waiting for Ronna, who eventually arrived; Ivan says she’s always late. They’re coming to the party on Saturday, too.

Shelli and I left for my house, where we spent the afternoon at the pool, swimming. Going back to her house, I yelled at her because she lost the birthday card for Leon I gave her to hold.

I felt bad about being mean to her, and although she forgave me, I still felt so bad that when I got home I was too sick to eat dinner.

Before tonight’s Guard meeting, Gary called, and he ran down the list of guests who said they are coming, and told me to be prepared for a “spate” of calls. But it’s 10 PM and the only people who called are Hal, who said he’d bring a date, and Shelli.

The government got an injunction against the Times and they can’t print any more of the secret Pentagon Vietnam reports.

Saturday, June 19, 1971

Tonight ended in inevitable disaster.

I woke up early but lay in bed through the entire morning. Gary called, asking me to bring a blanket tonight. He was surprised that some people didn’t respond to his invitation, but he said he expected forty people to show up to the party.

When I called Shelli, her sister answered the phone. Sindy said she’s not at all nervous even though her wedding’s only a week away.

Shelli said she had to buy her father a Father’s Day gift (yesterday I gave Dad card – in Polish – and a dart board), so I picked her up and we went to Kings Plaza.

We bought her father a shirt and tie in B&B Lorry’s and I dropped in the Pants Set to say goodbye to Merryl, who’s leaving next week for the camp where she’ll teach riding. Since Merryl loves horses, she will probably love the job.

After a good lunch at Cooky’s, we went upstairs to the movies to see Gimme Shelter, about the Rolling Stones’ violent concert at Altamont. We came home to bed, and it was indescribably good. I had a couple of orgasms, she had a climax, and we shared much love.

In the backyard, we did some reading. Gisele came out to give me a message that Consuelo had called to say she’d be at the party. But Consuelo didn’t know that the location had been changed to the beach and neither Gary nor I could reach her or Mark.

On our way to Rockaway, Shelli and I stopped off in Sheepshead Bay to pick up Allan, whose car was in the shop. He was happy, as his parents said they’d pay his airfare to Europe next month.

In Neponsit, Ivan let me park in his driveway but said I’d have to leave at 10 PM, as his sister was coming home. Ivan said he and Ronna would see us later — he had come out wrapped only in a towel (“You’re looking fit,” Allan said to him, and then said petulantly, to us, after nobody responded, “I thought that was funny”) – so Allan, Shelli and trudged along the beach to Beach 141st Street.

Some of Gary’s creepy friends were there already. Mikey came, although he said Leon had told him not to – because, Mikey said, he felt sorry for Gary. Apparently Leon was calling people up and telling them not to come because he dislikes Gary.

It was such a terrible party. Gary did his best, but it was so awful, I’m wincing as I write this. No one else from school showed up! So Shelli and I talked for a while with Allan and Mikey, and then moved our blanket away to get some privacy.

Eventually Ivan and Ronna joined us, we had hot dogs, and talked. Ronna said now that Susan’s over her crush on Mason – she followed him around her first semester because she thought Mason looked “Byronic” – and she now has a crush on Bill.

I somehow started talking about boko-maru from Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle, where people put the naked soles of their feet together, and when Ivan and Ronna did it, Shelli whispered to me, “You’ve finally given them something they can do!” because Ronna is famously a virgin.

We had to go at 10 PM to get my car out of the driveway before Ivan’s sister got home, and it was embarrassing to leave so early.

Gary’s face fell to the floor when Allan told him we had to leave. He asked us just to move the car to the Riis Park parking lot and we hemmed and hawed.

The awkwardness was compounded when, on our way back, we ran into Hal and his date, because Ivan and Hal hate each other over Ronna. I was afraid one of them would throw a punch.

Back in Brooklyn, over coffee at the Foursome Diner, the threesome of Richie, Shelli and Allan just kept shuddering at the fiasco of a party we’d just been to.

Shelli said that although in front of Ivan and me, Ronna said that Hal was a creep, as the two girls were walking back together behind us, Ronna confided to Shelli that she still likes Hal a lot.

Only one person emerged from the night with any shred of integrity: Mikey, a real mensch, who said he planned to call up Leon and tell him that it was mean to tell other people not to go to the party.

Monday, June 21, 1971

I was talking to Shelli goodbye last night over the phone when she got a call on the other line. Her old friend Dinah was coming over just like that, and she had to get dressed.

I was curious about Dinah because she has told me that she is the friend from high school who understands her best. Dinah goes to Bennington, is black and is gay, and Shelli said she made a pass at her once.

Shelli’s grandmother used to be upset when Dinah came over because she has short hair and in her senility Grandma thought Shelli was hanging out with a black guy. Every time Dinah came over, they had to explain she was a girl.

This morning I groggily went off to school and had my usual early-morning chat with Avis. Scott called her last night from Iowa City, a real hick town — but he and Timmy are enjoying themselves and Avis wishes she had gone with them.

I was glad to hear that more people came to Gary’s beach party after we left at 10 PM. Some of Gary’s old friends like Robert and Sari came, and so did Steve and Hilda. So I’m glad Gary didn’t feel humiliated; he doesn’t deserve that.

When Shelli came, she said that last night Dinah saw my photograph and said I was “gorgeous” but that I looked “too straight.” And I thought you had to be smart to go to Bennington!

In Poli Sci, Prof. Gluck discussed party identification. After class, I took a cab to Dr. Wouk. I told him about the party, the upcoming wedding and other stuff.

He still wants me to see other girls, saying I “should drink from many cups.” When I called him a male chauvinist, he said, “I am proud to be a phallic imperialist.”

I went to Fulton Street, stopping to get lunch for Grandpa Herb. We had a nice, relaxed meal in the store. I took the train home, and Shelli came over from her dentist soon after I arrived, excited that she had her braces taken off for the wedding.

We had intercourse and it was really nice, then went outside to read. I seem to have a knack for hurting her; little things I say put her in tears.

I wonder if all couples have as many tensions as we do. I sometimes wonder if it was right of me to take her to bed. I think she worries because people like Ivan and Ronna think less of her. But she always says she enjoys it, and it all seemed to happen so naturally.

I dropped Shelli off at her house and drove Mrs. Nelson, the cleaning woman, to her bus, and then when I got home, I found I had to go back to Shelli’s house because she left her book here again. I think she does it because subconsciously she wants to see more of me.

But Dr. Wouk said that two neurotic people like Shelli and me can cling to each other to avoid social situations. I’m pretty confused at the moment and not knowing where to turn. I guess I believe things will take their natural course.

Thursday, June 24, 1971

A troublesome day — but probably I create my own trouble.

Everything was okay this morning when I got to school and met Shelli and Dick. Elspeth came in, all but bursting with news of her phone call from Carole last night.

Carole said Irving Itzkowitz asked her to marry him, but she didn’t know if he really loved her or if it was “because of everything we’ve been through — losing the baby and everything.”

“What?!” Elspeth said, and Carole told her the story. She was four weeks late with her period and fell down a flight of stairs. She was in a very bad way and the doctor said she had a miscarriage and treated her with a saline shot.

Within an hour, it was all over the campus, with the effectiveness of what Mark used to call “The LaGuardia Rumor Mill.” But it bothered me and Shelli very much: Carole and Irving were using condoms, also.

I was preoccupied during a Poli Sci lecture on Congress (I got an A on my paper). Elspeth, Shelli and I had lunch, but I am very worried that Shelli may be pregnant.

Her period isn’t due for another week or so, but she said we’ll see a gynecologist. Damn it, I don’t want to be a father. Ray said, “In the beginning, everybody goes through this” and “Anyway, if she is pregnant, we can get Father Jim to marry you two.”

I left for home, where I found a postcard from Jerry from Amsterdam, a cryptic card. Elspeth got cards from Elihu, in Paris, and from Elayne, in Innsbruck.

Gary came over this afternoon. Tomorrow he leaves for his two week summer duty with the Guard up in Fort Drum. I find him so boring and was grateful when Shelli came over and even more grateful when Gary left.

We were shaken by Carole’s story, so today we mutually masturbated. After dinner at the Pancake House, we drove to Kennedy Airport, intending to see Leon off, but I got frustrated when I couldn’t find a parking space, and we left without seeing Leon.

Shelli was upset, too – both about her maybe-pregnancy and about her sister’s marriage and going away with Kieran to Seattle next week. There’s so much tension in that house before the wedding, I’m getting nervous, too.

Later, Mike told me that he and Allan were the only ones who saw Leon off. I had called the terminal and paged “Otis P. Driftwood,” but no one came to the phone.

Saturday, June 26, 1971

I’m very anxious about tomorrow’s wedding; you’d almost think I was the groom.

Yet it’s the anxiety and tensions of these catered affairs which has always made me miserable — I was unhappy the whole night of my bar mitzvah, and only a little less so at Marc’s – and that’s why I usually avoid going to these things.

I did some chores this morning and then went to the hair stylist. Everyone has to look perfect for tomorrow: Shelli, Sindy and their mother spent the day in the beauty parlor on Church Avenue. My hair came out pretty good.

From the hair stylist, I went to Jeanne’s house for the going-away party for Alice. It was a pleasant little afternoon garden party, with six or seven friends, the kind of thing I feel more comfortable at. It was Jeanne’s 20th birthday, too; she’s staying in the city this summer.

Alice will be leaving tomorrow for London, and from there she’ll go to Spain, where she’ll take summer classes at the University and live with the family of a woman named Doña Lucia.

After Alice is there five or six weeks, Andreas will meet her there and he may bring her home. Alice is not that excited about going.

Late this afternoon, when Shelli was finished with the beauty parlor, we took a drive up Linden Boulevard to Queens and back into Brooklyn, eventually walking around the Botanic Gardens, where we saw photographers taking pictures of wedding parties.

Shelli knows me so well, she frightens me. She can bring home painful truths about her, and when she talked about my discomfort over the wedding, I got angry even while I knew what she was saying is right.

Sunday, June 27, 1971

Kieran and Sindy’s wedding day. I got up early — again I didn’t sleep well, but I bet tonight I sleep like a baby – and had breakfast before I got dressed. I wore my green suit, a powder blue shirt, striped tie and Marc’s brown shoes.

Dad drove me all the way out to the Swan Club, the country club in Roslyn where the wedding was to be held. We got lost several times but finally got there and found the family taking pictures outside in the garden.

We took some family shots and I was included in the family alongside Uncle Morton and Aunt Louise; Aunt Marilyn and her husband Pete; and Shelli’s cousin Tina and her boyfriend Barry.

The time came for the ceremony and we all sat outside under a tent. I sat with Dean Wiepert, Dick Wright and some of Kieran’s other friends.

Shelli made a beautiful maid of honor; Kieran was very pale and seemed to be held up by his parents as he walked down the aisle; and Sindy made a pretty bride and her parents looked proud. The ceremony was Reform – I think Kieran’s family are Presbyterian or something – and it lasted only a few minutes; then we went inside and had a smorgasbord and then sat down at the tables for dinner.

One Jewish wedding is like every other wedding: the roast beef; the hora; the band playing “Sunrise, Sunset”; the cutting of the wedding cake; the champagne; the throwing of the bouquet (Shelli caught it); the lousy jokes; the flower centerpieces women fight over at the end; the drinks and the Viennese table; the laughter, the upsets and the tears.

Throughout I was fidgety and uncomfortable, but I forced myself to stay and be a good guest – only because I love Shelli so much. There’s so much I could say about the wedding, but it all becomes one big blur.

Finally the time came for the goodbyes. Shelli and I got a ride home from her cousin, and the ride seemed endless because traffic on Northern Boulevard and the expressway was bumper to bumper.

Sindy and Kieran are staying at the airport hotel tonight and are leaving for Seattle in the morning. Shelli is very upset that Sindy’s going far away.

After I came home, showered, changed, and hoped to spend a relaxing evening, Shelli called me and kept saying how bad she feels, and we talked for a long time. After 18 years of living with her big sister, it’s hard on Shelli. I suppose the adjustment won’t be easy for Sindy or Kieran either.

Wednesday, June 30, 1971

An oppressively hot and humid day. Shelli called late last night, crying because her parents wouldn’t let her call Sindy in Seattle. After we hung up, she called back but I didn’t answer the phone; I wanted to go to sleep. She was angry, but everything got straightened out this morning.

Actually, when I found her and Dick on the LaGuardia steps early today, the first thing Shelli said was not about being mad at me or about Sindy but “Alice is here.”

“Alice who?” I asked, and she answered, “Your Alice.” Astounded, I went to Dean Dunn’s office and sure enough, saw Alice. She took the flight to London but was so miserable and lonely without her Andreas that instead of taking the flight to Madrid she was supposed to, she got ticket back to New York.

I guess Alice must love Andreas a lot. Or is that “clinging”? Jeanne’s mother said she’ll give Alice a welcome-home party now.

Avis said Scott was in Salt Lake City; he’s enjoying himself but has a lot of trouble with his asthma.

In Poli Sci, we started talking about the kinds of interest groups that influence American government and elections. After class, Shelli and I went to lunch at Campus Corner and then went to look for Peter Amato.

He didn’t show up for the wedding, just as he missed Kieran and Sindy’s engagement party. Apparently it has to do with the fact that he has a wife but he’s living with a girlfriend.

But Peter wasn’t in his office, and the campus seemed deserted, so we went home and read the Voice, the Times and the Lampoon. We also got into bed and had an exquisite time.

I wonder if Shelli’s feeling guilty about having sex; I don’t. Late this afternoon, she called me from school, where she was studying after her appointment with Dr. Russett, and I picked her up there and was about to take her home when Elspeth stopped me to give me Elihu’s address in Vienna.

Shelli and Dr. Russett had a good session today. He says she’s attracted to me because she can mother me. Anyway, she seems to be getting better regarding her sister’s leaving.

As we were talking, a bulletin came over the car radio: the Supreme Court, in a 6-3 decision, ruled against the government and said that the Times could publish the Pentagon Papers – a landmark ruling for freedom of the press.

Also in the news: three Soviet cosmonauts died on reentry to Earth; the 26th Amendment (18-year-olds can now vote in all elections, not just federal ones) passed.

Mom and Dad and Jonny are leaving for Paradise Island in the morning. TC mark

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