9 Reasons Why True Love Hasn’t Found You Yet

“Love moves in mysterious ways,” a line of a famed song reads. True enough, no matter how many times we have encountered love, we all seem to still struggle with how to deal with it. If love hasn’t found its way to you yet, here are some possible reasons why:

1. When it’s there, you dismiss it.

Whenever an opportunity of love knocks on your door, you are keen to see it, only to reject it afterwards. This isn’t to say that you despise love. In fact, you would actually love to try it. It’s just that you don’t really know what to do or how to respond to such situation. So instead of actually entertaining love, you unconsciously dismiss it by being idle or not really doing your fair share in order for love to move forward. This prompts love to get confused and eventually withdraw.

2. You constantly look for its flaws, until the only thing left is to refuse it.

Call it playing safe or being perfectionist, in the end, you just ultimately want to make sure that you won’t commit a mistake in finding love. Hence, you become too critical of love. Sometimes, too critical, that you fail to see its beauty in its purest form – including its infirmities and fragilities. You scrutinize love as if it’s a body subjected to physical examination. If it’s weak and lacking, it isn’t love. Love isn’t always a fairytale, and it doesn’t always appear in the form of a prince charming. While you are certainly aware of this, you’d rather continue your search than risk your chances.

3. You equate it with sacrifice or compromise, to the point that you less or no longer recognize your own needs.

Sacrifice or compromise is one of the good indicators of true love, if equally shared and done by two people in a relationship. But when one refuses while the other one is left behind, it becomes taxing and unhealthy. The fault lies with the one who sacrifices or compromises too much. At some point, you should also recognize that you have your own expectations and demands. If it is true love, your partner should rightfully do his share of sacrifice or compromise just to make sure that you also get to enjoy your privileges in the relationship. If he doesn’t, it is highly probable that that isn’t true, and you’re just blindly in love.

4. You look at it through rose-colored glasses.

While the second item likes to cautiously examine love, you, on the other hand, always see love as potentially good. There is little to no evaluation of whether it could result in a letdown, or if it would devastate you more than you have been last time. You wholeheartedly accept its ugliness, even though it becomes irrational sometimes. You are a hopeless romantic, hopelessly in love with the idea of love and goodness. You see things worth the risk because rightfully, how would you know if it’s the right one without trying? Unfortunately, love isn’t supposed to be viewed through a world of rose-colored glasses. In reality, love can be cruel too, and it could potentially shatter your heart into million pieces. You just need to carefully choose the one worth the sacrifice and pain.

5. You are too preoccupied or busy for other things.

Maybe love isn’t your thing for now. You are probably busy pursuing a career or travelling the world. Or maybe, you’d rather burden yourself with piles of paperwork than get sleepless nights from constant arguing with your partner about petty things. Whatever it is that you are doing now, love just isn’t in the list. You don’t deem it a priority because you just know that you are better off doing more important things.

6. You are not ready for it.

Love can be very emotional and open. If you are a person who likes his/her personal space a lot, love might probably struggle to break his/her way through. Since love is so much about vulnerabilities and openness, and you don’t think you can handle such, you are, needless to say, just not ready for it yet.

7. You search for specific qualities, which would rarely or sometimes not even match with love.

In a sense, you are likely to craft a checklist of how your ideal partner should be. While it is not bad to have personal standards when it comes to choosing a partner, doing so also cuts down the possibilities of encountering love because they have been filtered out according to your set of criteria.

8. You are still nursing a broken heart.

Anyone who has had his heart broken is absolutely entitled to time for healing. It just so happens that when love happened to pass by, you are still in the process of healing. That is probably why you weren’t able to greet and invite him over for a coffee. At least, we know that love is polite.

9. You aren’t sure if you want it.

There’s a saying that you are most likely to attract things by simply thinking of it. Like when you think positively, positive things might possibly happen, too. So when you are undecided if you want it, love might turn out to be confused, too, of risking and wanting to be with an unsure person. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


More From Thought Catalog