People used to say that maturity comes with aging. If I were to explain this, I would probably associate it with the common knowledge that since old people had lived ahead of us, they practically had more experiences and skills in terms of living and surviving day-to-day life.
You become too hard on yourself. While you accustomed yourself into doing things on your own, you also unconsciously made yourself believe that you only have yourself to depend on. You know you can fail others, but never yourself.
When it’s there, you dismiss it. Whenever an opportunity of love knocks on your door, you are keen to see it, only to reject it afterwards. This isn’t to say that you despise love. In fact, you would actually love to try it. It’s just that you don’t really know what to do or how to respond to such situation.