Love is a wild thing. It protrudes beyond what you ever believed to be possible. One day it’s there and the next it feels far from your grasp. You may think you know what love looks like or what it feels like, but the truth is you will never know, because love changes all the time. One day it’s a coffee shop on a busy city street and the next it’s a cold, middle-of-nowhere-no-end-road. Don’t expect to go through life seeing love for what you think it is every single day, because you never will. You’ll have days on days where you can’t see anything at all, but then days on days will come where you see it for all it brings to you.
Love hides and obscures the real truth, but what has that ever meant? Have you ever realized that the love you truly need is the one you’ve always denied? You met her a long time ago and thought you’d fallen head over heels. No one you’d ever met was like her; her charm was irresistible and her soul was a wild one, the sort of soul you never realize how special it is until it’s gone from your view. But you saw it. You were convinced that she was one in a million, and all you wanted was to make her a part of your world and be apart of hers.
But deep down you denied it. You were too scared to tell her you loved her, afraid of the consequences that may lead to heartbreak. After that night in the rain when she kissed you and you held her tight, whispering words you’d only ever tell to a lover, your adamance was there that she was the only love you’d ever want, but it was never that easy. Your head became clouded by the fear that one day your two hearts would break, and so you stepped back, stopped calling her twice a day, and stopped replying to her text messages instantly. When her name popped up on your phone, your heart started to race a little less, but you ignored that. You tried so hard to just get on with your life, but the love you thought you had was playing the strings in the background of everything you did.
Then days went by where you just didn’t talk to her, and then came the call. She said she couldn’t do it anymore, but that it was her and not you. There was no shouting, there were no tears, just a lonely goodbye and a few words you never thought you’d say, but deep down you’d played them over and over again. You had her, but you let her go before you really said what had to be said.
But that’s the way it goes, because that is love. You lived through those days with her where you knew exactly what love had brought to you, but you also lived through those days where you couldn’t see anything at all.
There will come a point in your life where you’ll realize, either too little or too late, that the one you are meant to love and the love you need is not brand new. It has been in your life for the longest time, and it has been playing the strings in the background for all this time. When you saw her for the first time, there was a reason why you felt the sparks fly, and even though it ended the way it did, you’re here now, sitting on the edge of everything you ever knew. Ready to take that leap. Ready to tell the woman you knew you always loved that you are in love with her and you will be for the rest of time, because while love can hide and obscure the real truth, one day you will see it and there will be nothing that will ever change your mind.