This Is How I Lost Myself When I Lost You

A girl who lost herself
Unsplash / Daniel Apodaca

The day you left and pushed me away was the day I lost my soul. It was more than a storm or a hurricane.

It is true that the person who can make you the happiest is the same person who can break your heart the hardest.

You brought me up into the sky so high where it felt like heaven, it felt like paradise. Being with you made me feel alive because you gave me purpose each morning and you gave me hope to look forward for another great morning.

I found meaning in my life and never questioned my existence again because all I could think about was living the moment, living my life with you.

And just when I thought I already found myself, it all turned upside down.

I, your favorite cup of coffee, slipped away from your hand and fell broken into pieces on the ground. I was shattered.

How could you have let it slip away? After you said, “I love you so much and I will never go.” After you said, “I will be here no matter what, babe.” What happened?

Three words — you ran away.

You were afraid and clouded with so many feelings, so many reasons why you couldn’t choose me.

I thought I was not enough but the truth is, your love was not enough to put on a harder grip and fight for me. And just like a piece of dust blown away by the wind, in one blink you were gone, far away.

It was more than a storm or a hurricane. Breaking not only my heart but my soul and my person. It was a tragic catastrophe of my being. I lost myself.

Every day is a struggle. I always wake up, wondering and asking why it seems like the universe is punishing me. It hurts and I know it will hurt more but I will be okay.

In time, I will be. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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