I had been lucky enough.
I just realized how thankful I should be that at some point in this rocky road of mysterious kinship, I felt loved and that someone actually cared for me, again.
I just realized that only a few from the billions of people in this universe would actually get the chance to have their feelings of affection be reciprocated. And with that, I feel lucky enough.
I must say that it has been a rollercoaster of total opposing emotions—joy and sadness. I have chosen to continuously stab myself just to gain temporary happiness and escape the fear of lifetime darkness of being alone. At first, it didn’t feel like a desperate move but damn, it was.
It was a pretty quick ride though. It felt like taking the highest and scariest slide where I fell so hard into.
I couldn’t explain how you accurately match my ideas of a perfect partner. And that, that made it even harder for me to let this go. But I know it’s time for us to close this chapter. It’s time to get back to where we should be heading.
It’s time to let it all go.
There is no more bargaining for it will only deepen our sorrow. There is no more hoping for it will only keep me from moving. There is no more waiting for it will only continue to break what is already broken.
I know that it is time to turn down this insanity and finally regain myself back to reality so that I could move on with what is waiting for me.
Trust me it will be long. It may all sound easy and peaceful but believe me, my mind and heart are battling. It will take some time for me to finally get over you. I can say that I really fell in love with you and the idea of being with you. But this has to end and I need to let go, move on.
Again, not to soon, but eventually.
So thank you, thank you for the ride.