In the past few years of my life, I’ve viewed the term “love” in a perspective that is far more different than the perspective that I have at this present moment. (Of course, the mind of a fourteen year old would definitely be dwarfed by the mind of a now twenty-seven year old woman.)
I used to think that falling in love was just like what you see in the movies. The usual scenario: girl meets boy, magic happens, love at first sight and then happily ever after. I thought it would be as simple as that… But then again, it would never be as simple as that. Time later on would take it’s toll on me and that viewpoint that I used to have.
When I met my first boyfriend, innocent as I was, I thought that he would be the man I’d end up marrying but then again… It wasn’t meant to last. That experience taught me to realize that love isn’t just about that chemistry that you two share. It is rather the effort that you have to put in order to keep the flame burning. It is the constant effort of building up one another and not demanding too much from your partner but at the same time making sure that that effort that you did (yes, this goes for you guys) to win her heart still lingers within the relationship. It does not have to be immediately complacent. No. Love wasn’t designed that way.
After a few more relationships later on, I guess my point of view totally went around in full 360 degrees compared to what I used to be fixed on. I realized that you don’t get into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. I guess that’s just for teenagers but for us who are gradually adding up per 365 days that this planet has revolved through eon after eon, everything is viewed upon with more wisdom.
In this moment of time in life, I learned that we should not invest our time on things that have uncertainty, things that are most likely not going to end up for the long run. If you are not happy, then just lift that chin up, muster the courage to say: “thanks but I ain’t happy with this” and walk away. Never ever allow your ego to be trampled on by someone who does not deserve you at all. Crap happens. I know. But never allow yourself to take the full blame of whatever has happened.
Love is a step by step process. It is not something that you rush into and it is not something that you play around with either.
Allow yourself to grow first. Be the person that you have always wanted to be using YOUR own happiness and that happiness must not be relied onto anyone. You are responsible for your happiness and whatsoever. You came into existence in this world even before that person showed up. The right person will build you up further but he will not change you into someone completely different. Someone will complement you someday. And you will be the same to him as well.
Love is truly beautiful when it is at the right time, when it is not rushed nor pressured.
I truly believe that being single is not a curse. It is a blessing. It is freedom. It is the freedom to choose who is right with no commitment. Commitment only comes when they have proven that they are worth the compromise and sacrifice. Otherwise, don’t settle for less than what you deserve. Commit ONLY when you truly see the authenticity not only in his words but also in his actions; when he treats you as the princess that you are not just a temporary fling or someone he’ll just use to his benefit until he gets tired of you; when he realizes that you are worth his effort and does what he can despite the obstacles and et cetera. And if no sign of anything of the sort, please, do yourself a favor and beat it. Let him pursue you. Always keep that in mind.
Give your heart out only to the person who deserves it… To the person who will do his absolute best not to lose you and make you feel special.
You are and you always will be special. You deserve to be loved in the same intensity that you love.
Save your heart for now….
Don’t give it away.