Earlier today I was peeling a mandarin orange–otherwise known as a Cutie–and I noticed a little sticker that read, “Cuties are for kids!” So, is that a requirement? Are some angry children going to run after me demanding I hand over the Cuties? I find myself asking the same questions that poor rabbit asked regarding his colorful bowl of Trix. Why can’t I have a Cutie? Why do only kids get to indulge in their juicy deliciousness?
Little assholes, nobody likes a bully. Just share your cereal!
But then I thought for a minute and realized there are so many other items that are unfairly marked for kids only. So who was it that decided adult life had to be so bland? Just because I’m older and have more responsibilities doesn’t mean I no longer want to enjoy a simple kid-friendly life every now and then.
For example, let’s say you go out for a bite to eat and really aren’t that hungry. You glance at the kid’s menu and find a small, delightful sounding sandwich on there. Or maybe you are hungry and that mac and cheese looks ah-maz-ing. You ask your waiter/waitress and they respond, “I’m sorry, that menu is for children only.” WHY!? Anytime I go to Costco and grab the Dino Nuggets I feel like the check-out person is either silently judging me or assuming I have children. No, I just like having fun animals and making my Dino Nuggets fight each before falling into a tar pit (ketchup) and getting eaten. So what if I’m over 12? The same thing goes for Goldfish crackers, alphabet cookies, string cheese, and crust-less PB&J. They taste so GOOD don’t you dare tell me I’m too old to enjoy them!
Also, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen signs that let kids eat free. What. The. Hell. Why do those little jerks get free food? They don’t even understand how to share. At least it I’m not alone in this. It seems enough people complained about boring, white/brown adult vitamins. Thankfully, they made adult gummy vitamins. Take THAT kids, we get to indulge in something fun and colorful too!
Honestly, I blame the marketing world for making kids think adults don’t deserve to have fun. For example, the main theme of Toys-R-Us explains that kids don’t want to grow up and want to be Toy-R-Us kids forever. Oh yeah? Well why can’t I be a Toys-R-Us adult, huh? I like coloring. It’s actually quite calming and stress relieving. Try it, I swear. That is if you’re even allowed to buy a coloring book…But I think too many kids grow up thinking adult life is no fun and you have to be responsible and chained to your job for the rest of your life. Let’s stop making kids be afraid of growing up. We adults can’t buy into this marketing and think just because we can’t have Trix cereal anymore, our lives are terrible.
What I’m really trying to say here is that we adults have to much pressure to take life seriously. Start appreciating your life, stop complaining, and realize that adult life really isn’t that bad. Unlike kids, you can do what you want without parental consent. One of my favorite quotes reads, “If you do not like where you are, change it. You are not a tree.” Regardless of what the advertising says, eat some kid-friendly food, listen to the Disney Pandora station, play hopscotch and I guarantee you’ll feel a little happier in life.