Stop Asking ‘Why Am I Single?’ And Learn To Live With Yourself

Manos Gkikas

Settling to the idea of being “forever alone” is ridiculous. It’s like saying you don’t have a choice. Rather tragically dramatic don’t you think? That you aren’t meant to be happy, when happiness lies within your own hands. Go out and do something about it instead of letting life happen. Because life doesn’t just happen. It takes effort, especially on your part. The future isn’t at all certain. Passively waiting for things to happen isn’t getting you anywhere. Obviously, that’s why you are still single.

What can you do right now?

Be vulnerable. Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and say “I love you”. Because I don’t think you care about yourself. If you find that you want to change the physical parts of yourself; work with what you have and start taking care of yourself in healthy yet positive ways.

Know you are good enough. Have confidence and some self-esteem. Not a lot of people want to be with someone who doesn’t take the initiative to at least love themselves first; they can sense it like a weakness.

Look outside. Do something you enjoy. Interact and connect with people around you. Meet new people. And, one of these days you will attract someone who wants to be around you. To be with you. Getting out of your comfort zone and doing new things could lead to friendships. The more friends, the better. Who knows?

Let people know you are single. Don’t be embarrassed, shy, and/or ashamed about it. How does anyone know you want to be in a relationship if you don’t at least advertise that you are available. Not everyone knows. Well, besides your friends, family, and co-workers, the rest of the world could think you are taken or even married!

Take your time. Don’t feel pressured into dating someone or being in a relationship with a person you don’t even like just so you don’t feel alone–you’ll only end up feeling shittier about your existential crisis.

Do away with the concept of finding the “one.” The person who you are meant to be with for the rest of your life. Despite what is depicted in book and movies, the concept of a soul mate is pure fantasy; I don’t think there is such a thing as a soul mate. We can match well with a lot of people; one has to be open minded. Every person you date, your “relationship” with them will be different, unique. He or she doesn’t have to be the best on paper. Find someone who is “good enough” for you now. TC mark

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