I think you know how you broke my heart and how much pain you’ve caused. I was too scared to admit that you almost broke everything about me. I actually didn’t have time to think about your feelings when we broke up. I was busy trying to bounce back, living one day at a time. I’ve seen this a thousand times. I’ve seen how girls broke down after a painful breakup. We were friends and you know my story. I was the happy go lucky girl who didn’t believe in commitments, labels, promises, all those things they say about falling in love. I was skeptical about everything.
I built this very high wall to protect myself. I had all kinds of girl issues! All these things changed when I met you. I allowed you to affect me. I let you label me (as a girlfriend). I obeyed you. I agreed to your terms. I compromised. I settled. You became my life. My love.
I was so sure about us. I was so ready to make everything right this time. No more walls, issues, and setbacks. I was determined to never commit the same mistakes again. I loved you so much. I allowed you to be part of everything about me.
So when things didn’t work out, my world collapsed. From Day 1, I decided to fight for you. You were a lot to lose, like I told you, so I just waited. I believe I was never the clingy-needy type so I just waited for you on the sidelines, waiting for you to come back. But you didn’t. You moved on without saying a word. It was so hard for me to recover. I didn’t think I would still have a chance to be extremely happy. The hardest to let go were the memories: our laughter, our sweet nothings, our adventures, and misadventures. I believe we had so much fun together. The hardest part was accepting that you’re gone and we won’t have that much fun anymore.
I guess I really loved you too much that I forced myself to cut everything and just let you be happy. I let you move on. I just trained myself to accept everything wholeheartedly. I tried to be happy for you. Well I did become happy for you, in the long run. I was okay, in the long run.
Looking back, I still believe everything was worth it. I was happiest to be with you. I wouldn’t change anything. So I still want to thank you. Thank you for all our adventures and misadventures, everything I learned from you. Everything was worth every tear. And thank God I learned to get a hold of myself even if my world was crumbling to pieces. You made me realize that I still love myself. I also hope you find the peace, success, and love you deserve.