He’s not the one that got away. He’s the one who did not choose to stay.
He left because he did and you do not need any explanation for that. You do not have to wait for answers to all your questions, and it should not make you bitter. Whatever his reason may be, whether you actually want to know or not, you should just let it be. Accept it as it is. Believe that this shift, be it sudden or gradual is meant to let your heart grow bigger. Your heart was able to accommodate someone who stayed only temporarily. Imagine how openly it can welcome the person who would finally choose to stay.
He did not mean to make you question your worth or make you feel like you are never enough. You are valuable. Consider his decision to leave a blessing in disguise to make you realize that your value does not come from anyone but yourself. The lessons you learned from him are far more important than the uncertainties you once had because of him. He had also given parts of himself to you. The days you spent together were also part of his life. You were a part of his life.
But, do not sugarcoat the words that hurt you. Do not let your eyes see through rose-colored lenses when looking back at the moments that broke you. Live in the reality of the circumstances. You are hurting and that’s perfectly fine. There are nights you cry yourself to sleep and those nights are part of it too. Try not to blame it on him, and most importantly, do not blame everything on yourself. Some things are out of our control.
You cannot force someone to stay if he is determined to go. Let him do whatever pleases him and respect his decision. You are not abandoned because you were the one left in a place where there used to be two. Rather, you are set free. Missing him is inevitable. His presence was once your inspiration to go through gloomiest days. Now, turn his absence into an opportunity to see more sources of encouragement to become better each day.
Hold on to the fact that there are no happenstances. Things happen as results of our choices, for reasons we may not know at the moment, but lead us to the things that are really made for us. Be grateful you got to be with him. Be happy you met him. Remember, every once in a while moments like this come to strengthen your faith and create a version of you that’s better. Take the space he used to occupy. Use it for yourself. Widen your world and let other beautiful things gravitate towards you. This kind of freedom may not be purely sweet, but this is the kind of liberty you need to prepare yourself for greater things ahead.