I’ve Let My Walls Fall, But I’m Still Not Ready To Let Anyone In

I have always believed in the good side of everything. I have faith in silver linings, that things happen for a reason, and that rainbows come after the rain. But as I open myself to the reality of this day and generation, I get to realize a lot of concepts that are different from what I know.

I stayed inside my comfort zone, because to me, that is where I am safe, that is where nobody is allowed to make me feel bad, that is where I make up all my idealistic thoughts about the world, and life in general. I kept my walls, high. I built them for the purpose of not letting anybody in. I made them so I can contain all the positivity inside and not get affected by the ugly truths the world has. I did this for a long time. I tried keeping it this way for a long time, until I reached the point of curiosity.

What is happening?

That’s when I had to release the concrete security I surrounded myself with. I found the strength to remove the walls concealing the view I wanted to see. I had to go past my own fears. I convinced myself, it’s finally time to be a part of something new, something else.

But I never lost the fears, I just placed them behind me so they wouldn’t block the scene. I am still afraid of getting hurt. I am still scared of uncertainties, of things I know nothing about, of people I am still not sure of.

For now, I could stay here a little longer, drawing circles around my heart to protect it, but not building walls to hide it. For now, I could just stay here a little bit longer, within the boundaries of my comfort zone, waiting for the right reason to take a plunge.