How To Cultivate A Love Life Your Friends Envy


Love, life and all it’s decisions. Sigh. Why oh why do we often suffer from chronic indecisiveness when it comes to our relationship decisions? We, as the fairer sex has often encountered this problem.

On our first date we wonder is he making enough? Is he tall enough? Is he good in bed? Will he make a good father? Who does he hang out with? How many women is he playing with? And this is before we even know his last name.

Often not looking at the man himself but the favorable attributes we hope to see in one’s choice of a partner.

Here are 5 ways to get the man of your dreams and make all your single friends the recipient of the green eye monster:

Appreciation and Acknowledgment goes a far way with a man.

A man will often go out of his way to please a woman who appreciates and acknowledges his efforts to make her happy whether it is giving her back rub to giving her a simple ride to work. Most ladies seem not to understand this concept. Never underestimate the power of a simple thank you, my modernly liberated ladies. It will move mountains you never knew existed. Remember when Grandma always said it is better to catch flies with honey than sugar? It is a true concept that stands the test of time. Think about it.

What roles does a side chick play in a man’s life? She listens, rubs his head, gives him sex and often a home cooked meal and she is grateful for whatever time he can spare, meanwhile a wife is at home nagging him, disrespecting him and not appreciating the efforts he puts into providing for her and his kids.

Not to advocate extra marital infidelity but I think we can all see what is missing here. The obvious choice for the man is the side chick that provides good sex, appreciation, acknowledgement and respect even if it is for a few minutes or hours. Show him some appreciation and acknowledge his efforts and see how your eyes will light up at the things he does for you.

Let Him Be the Man

Little known secret? A man values respect more than love. A man can stay with a woman he barely loves owing to the fact that she respects and lets him be the man. What does let him being the man mean?

• You don’t need to have the last word in every single argument.

• You don’t need to do everything yourself Ms. Independent. Let him help out. Be open to receiving. Repeat this with me….MEN LIKE TO BE NEEDED!!

• More silence, less chatter. Men hate to be nagged, cajoled, given ultimatums and all the convincing in the world will not get him to do what you want him to do and when. Especially when he comes through the door after a long day at work. Men need time to unwind.

• It’s okay ladies to let him drive in peace without you ranting and raving at him about his driving skills or timing. If this is you I suggest you look up emasculation on Google.

• He is your man and not your child. Therefore eliminating the need to baby him. Studies have proven time and time again the only time a man loves to be babied is when he is ill. That is it. Period. He was a grown man before your relationship so he shall be after. Resist the urge to tell him what to do.

• Be Feminine

Men like to be with women who make them feel like men. Soft, gentle, caring, nurturing, seductive, flirty and all that comes with being a woman. If men were not into women then they would all be dating their friends for comfort. I think you can imagine how that would play out. In all types of relationships across the world there is always a masculine and feminine energy in the relationships.

Someone is always softer and submissive and the other dominant and aggressive. MEN DO NOT LIKE MALE ENERGY DOMINATED WOMEN. They want someone soft to come home to lay their head down and melt all problems away. So it is okay to be driven in the work place and life however when it comes to relationships softer is better.

A little perfume here, a little red lipstick there, a coy look thrown in for good measure will have him calling you for numerous dates to get to know the mysteries of the woman you are.

Support his Goals and Dreams

You are your man’s biggest cheerleader. Point blank. If he cannot count on your support who can he count on besides his momma? Encourage his dreams, hopes and aspirations. Even if he is just venting he will appreciate the fact that you stood in his corner even if it’s just to listen. Be the shoulder he can cry on after losing his job then be the cheerleader that says “hey babe I know you can bounce back and find something better and I am here for you”.

Love you first

Ladies please love yourselves first before you can even think of loving a man. Love your life, live it claim it and own it. He will love that you are a woman with drive, hobbies and a life that doesn’t depend on whether he is with you or not. It will drive him to want to possess you for himself. He will think “I have to possess this amazing woman before anyone else does”.

A relationship is a bonus and not an outlet to fix your life. Bring your own 100% to the relationship and watch your dating life be transformed before your eyes.

Therefore with that being said; Sit back and watch your friends clamor to know your secret of how you captivate the man in your life. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog