(1) People will always assume you’re dating. They will ask you repeatedly. Gush about you. Demand that you give them a chance (because it’s obvious you’re meant to be) and tell you that you should totally date.
(2) Some girls will hate you. There’s always that girl who’s vying for your best friend’s attention. Maybe because he’s hot, or because he’s the lead singer of the college band. And he will always have a sizable fan following, including some overly infatuated girls. They will hate you. Bitch about you. Call you names. Give you the cold shoulder. Anything, because they can never shift the spotlight from you. It’s always you first, before any of them, in his eyes.
(3) People will joke about how they are your bodyguards. At least they seem to think it’s a joke. It’s not. These will go WWE on anybody to a pulp for you. I speak from experience.
(4) People will assume that you’ve known each other for years. They will never believe you when you tell them that you only met each other in college.
(5) Some people will assume that you must have drunkenly made out/hooked up with them at least some point. They’re quite shocked when you tell them that it never has and never will happen.
(6) Some others will never believe it when you deny ever having had a threesome. I refuse to explain this one. They’re like my bros, y’all.
(7) People are shocked when you, being the man-girl, call something cute. They never believed that you could say something like ‘cute’.
(8) They will also expect you to be mean/tough all the time. And I mean ALL the freaking time.
(9) Girls will hate you. You’re always that girl who’s with the boys. (Like have you seen her? Eww. She’s totally a flirt. She must be doing like ten guys at once. What a biatch.)
(10) Some girls will respect how you can consistently maintain a simple, uncomplicated relationship with these guys.
(11) The same girls also come with you for advice on how to get boys into bed.
(12) You define friend-zone. But not in the forever alone kinda way, but in the cool way.
(13) ALL of your boyfriends go through preliminary screening. Go back to the point about bodyguards. (Your best friends WILL ask him what his intentions are. He better have this whole Statement of Purpose written up)
(14) They’ll invite their friends sometimes and you’ll be a part of this big group of 10, and even though you’re the only girl, you’ll never feel uncomfortable.
(15) All your boyfriends will ask you suspicious questions about them for a while. Then they’ll stop because they’ll realise at one point that your relationship is like purely 110% platonic.
(16) The guys will forget you’re a girl. These best friends of yours go to your other girl friends for girl advice when you just sit by and ask questions like, “Do I have to shove my boobs in your face for you to realize that I’m a girl?! Like HELLO?!”
(17) You’ll have food fights and water fights and just fights with your best friends, and it will be all cool. No drama ever.
(18) Sometimes you feel like youre only purpose in life is to prevent the other two from seeming gay.
(19) But they totally could be gay.
(21) If you weren’t around.
(22) Or right in front of you.
(23) And though this list can go on forever, I’m sleepy and 21’s a totally cool number. So no matter what you’ve had to deal with, they’re the best best friends on the planet, and you love being with them and would never change a thing because you love them so much.
Okay bye, I need to chill with my peeps now and maybe grab a beer.