This Is How We Are All Losing Ourselves In Dating Apps

Kate SERBIN
Kate SERBIN

I read a lot of articles regarding the Millennial dating scene these days, and have to admit I could relate to most of them very well.

I know there are a lot of brokenhearted people out there, many wanting to put an end to all the misery and frustrations they are going through — me being one of them. Then there’s this old hype that the only solution to loneliness is to replace what you had. Maybe that’s the reason why there’s so many dating sites and apps. Swiping right and hitting buttons — people are going crazy. Now, let me tell you my story.

I decided to Google dating websites and apps to see what my options were for getting back on the market. I read about Tinder. Downloaded. Pulled out my Facebook profile and had it connected with the app. It was time to start swiping. I could see all the good looking men on the world. Then after 2, 3 matches, I came across a guy from a different nationality. We swiped right on each other. Few conversations and we were like “this is incredible,” followed by him asking me out on for coffee. The first time we met it went so great I cannot even put it in right words. Then came all the dinner dates and grabbing drinks together and yeah shared cookouts as well.

Suddenly, after few weeks of talking incessantly, he just vanished. Poof!! We were sharing whole paragraphs of texts before, and suddenly it dwindled down to a word or two. And that’s all there was to it.

The whole thing looked like a camouflaged magic then. But, I learnt to chill and decided hey, its okay. There are people in our lives with whom we have actually visualized a whole future and yet have left us. Now, what could you actually expect from a guy whom you’ve known on some random dating app. Then, I dated some more. All with the same conclusions.

What this experience taught me is that I am complete within myself. You are complete within yourself. You are a whole being, you don’t need someone’s company to make you feel complete. You are not just a better half for somebody. You are a total individual with you own mindset, independency and so many journeys credited to your name.

See, every time you try to find someone special through random dating sites, you are actually losing a part of yourself. You are giving them your time, attention, care in an attempt to know them better, but you’re losing yourself in the process. Your special one will come to you when you are completely yourself and who will love you for being yourself — you will never have to put in extra effort.

Yes, there are people who will be by your side when you are at your strongest, who will be drawn by your personality and your attitude. But, one certain thing in this world is people will always come across a point in their life when they are at their lowest and so prone to all the vulnerabilities. Those are the times when life will give you the best people (the right people), people who will have faith in you. But first, lets all learn to love ourselves and indulge in self-pampering and pursue all the things you have always wanted to. Enjoy being you.

You will meet many many people in your lifetime who will share their journeys with you. But it’s worth waiting for the person who will share the entirety of your life with you. TC mark

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