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All The Porn I’ve Ever Watched, Pt. 1 of 50,982

When I discovered the World Wide Web I started looking at porn online, and I think a lot of what I know about the types of guys I like, even the kind of sex I like, I learned from porn. Mom and dad weren’t going to show me the rainbow ropes, so to speak. So I had to learn from somewhere. Seeing a lot of porn taught me which sexual role I liked best (top or bottom).

Life Unexpected: Winter’s Bone

Perhaps what makes Winter’s Bone so stunning is that it doesn’t try to be. Beneath the chilling circumstances that the lead character finds herself in is a chance for justice and peace, but neither horror nor its opposite are pushed on the audience. As in real life, the most moving moments are often the most subtle and unexpected.

Robyn & Kelis Live (Webster Hall 8.4.10)

“Fembots are human too,” according to a retro-cyber standout track on Robyn’s new Body Talk Pt. 1, but you wouldn’t know it from the electropop bobblehead’s impeccably-paced show, which made Kelis’s look like a half-hearted promotional appearance.

Please Do Not Read

There is no reason to continue. Please quietly click away. (Note: I say to click because I would never expect you to walk away, it requires such an inordinate amount of energy. And really, where are you going to go? Walking is overrated. And judging by the way you have deteriorated since taking that desk job at that company, I worry about your heart.

Hubert Wolf: Pope and Devil – The Vatican’s Archives and the Third Reich

Carefully groomed for diplomatic service – certainly talented at it, with an elegant, engaging manner, shrewd powers of observation and negotiation, and command of many languages – and favored by Pope Benedict XV and Pope Pius XI, Pacelli’s star rose until it outshone nearly all others. He became the most important Roman Catholic prelate in Germany, prior to his appointment as Vatican Secretary of State in 1930. Why, then, problems with the cause for his sainthood?

Alina Bronsky: Broken Glass Park

Sascha Naimann has a lot on her plate.  The big thing is her mother’s death at the hands of her stepfather, Vadim, a murder witnessed not only by Sascha herself but also by her little brother, Anton, and her little sister, Alissa.   Anton, now a broken boy, quiet and weak and delicate, is also prone to alarming behavior:  once Sascha discovered him dissecting the bloody carcass of a guinea pig.

What’s Your “Cyrus” ?

The metaphor is simple, but then so is the movie.  Your “Cyrus” could be your girlfriend talking in her sleep all night, saying “I hate you”, or something; it could be your girlfriend spending all her time with her ex-boyfriend; it could be your chronic unemployment.  It could probably be all of those things at once.

Women and Work

It’s not a revelation that stay-at-home moms are devalued socially and economically in American society, but it’s a problem that seems especially fraught right now, when money is an issue for many households, and a second income can make the difference. I know several women who took a year or more off to raise their children and who now seek to rejoin the workforce. But those doors are virtually closed to them.

No News is New News

The federal government should have its own news voice — a newspaper, blog, TV and radio show.  They can relate all the so-called news.  This will put an end to the press conference and the news industry will have to actually find news, actually do some investigating, some thinking, some reporting.

Kanye’s Ego Has Landed on Twitter

Last week Kanye West found himself a new toy called Twitter and in the gleam of a diamond-studded mouth grill every other Twitter feed became history. In his first week, Kanye snagged just under 500,000 followers as of this writing and the number grows every second.

Four Times I’ve Seen People Have Seizures

We were on the subway and someone standing near us threw their water bottle into the air and collapsed onto the floor of the train. The person started shaking. I couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman. The train stopped at a station and I remember looking frantically from the person shaking on the floor to somewhere outside the train.

Tennessee Williams: 13 Quotes

One need consider only a handful of characters from Williams’s oeuvre – Amanda Wingfield, Stanley Kowalski, Blanche Dubois, Maggie, Big Daddy, all of whom are still very much alive in the lexicon of popular culture – to comprehend the scope of his contribution to the art world.

Giving Coffee a Makeover

Despite the dependability and simple joy millions of people get from coffee, whether it’s homemade drip or a more expensive café-bought concoction, the industry is still looking for new ways to charm coffee-lovers and recruit new fans. Not surprisingly, the newest trends come with higher price tags than your corner deli cup.

Somerset Maugham: 16 Quotes

Bon vivant, raconteur, dandy, and wit, William Somerset Maugham ( 1874- 1965), was probably the most prolific, certainly the most financially successful English writer of the twentieth century. Creator of the spy story in his Ashenden stories and chronicler of sojourns abroad in his travel essays, novelist of character and manners, Maugham dined out on his stories for years, always a sought-after guest for weekend house parties and formal dinners.

Life Seems Bleak

Sarah Palin heavily censors her Facebook wall comments, there is a monster that lives in the North Carolina sewer system, America is on the brink of civil war, Fox News is lying to America’s face, and the notorious street crime gang infamously known as the Juggalos has invaded the suburbs of Australia.

Vacation From Nowhere

While swimming in the otherworldly turquoise waters, in the private beach near our hotel, my traveling companion and I were maliciously assaulted by jellyfish.  She screamed.  I screamed.  “Pee on me!” she cried.  “Pee on me!”  I can only imagine what the other beachgoers must have thought.  I thought about the jellyfish stinging me on my exposed penis.

Corporate Takeover: The Inherent Distrust of Subsidized Creativity

Blake repeats this mantra so as to burn it into the minds of his underperforming sales force, reminding them that their failure to sell condos and time shares will only result in termination. It’s not so much a morale booster as it is a warning to those lacking the killer instinct required in sales. But on a grander scale, Blake is talking about selling — no matter the product, no matter the price.

Wavves: King of the Beach

To call Wavves’ King of the Beach (Fat Possum) a cleaner, more considered affair than the band’s first two albums is to say very little. 2008’s self-titled cassette-turned-CD and 2009’s Wavvves were the kinds of records it’s good to know that near-teenagers still make, whether one actually cares to listen to them or not…

Of Name-Dropping and Neologisms

A mere handful of novelists have attained nounhood. Leopold von Sacher-Masoch begat masochism. The Marquis de Sade lent his name to sadism. A humorous, four-line biographical verse, or clerihew, is named after Edmund Clerihew Bentley. And if you are a promiscuous and unscrupulous lover like Giacomo Casanova, then you, sir, are a Casanova.

The Corporations Are Coming to Tumblr

In case you didn’t know, Tumblr is a pretty big deal, according to an article in today’s New York Times. Such a big deal, in fact, that businesses are now infiltrating the hallowed dashboard in the hopes of making some deals of their own.

E-Books Sell, But Take Longer to Read

Surely readers of e-books are not scanning, as so many of us are wont to do online. But there have to be some differences between the electronic and the printed reading experience. The usability guru Jakob Nielsen conducted a study to find out.

Four Reasons to Sleep With James Franco

You know how you have a list of celebrities you’d sleep with if you ran into them just like that? Or what about how you begin every relationship by telling your new girlfriend or boyfriend, okay, listen, I think you’re totally awesome and everything, but see I have this list. A list of celebrities I want to sleep with. And, um, if I meet any of these people and they want to get with me, I kind of, um, have to go with it…

Shopping for Sex Online, Web 2.0-Style

But Craisglist is so Web 1.0. It’s the Web 2.0 of online sex shopping that gets interesting. There are sites — MyRedbook and The Erotic Review are two of the better known ones — where not only do women advertise their services in templated format that lays out age, race, breast size, and status of pubic hair but where customers review said women in exacting detail.

Addicted to Alexa Chung

The media speculated that the show’s half-hour, formerly occupied by “TRL,” was too early for most teenagers. But Chung’s analysis is probably more accurate: her humor was all wrong for the U.S. audience and the format of the show stank.

George A. Dunn et al.: True Blood and Philosophy

So what I look for first in such books is accurate philosophy. It is not easy to teach philosophy in the bite sizes necessitated by these short essays, and brevity can distort. Connecting philosophy up to popular culture also requires knowledge of and sensitivity towards the material. In reading this series, if I get something really insightful about the pop culture object of reflection — something that could be developed and published in a peer reviewed popular culture studies journal – I am delighted.

Adam Langer: The Thieves of Manhattan

But—and this is a question that The Thieves of Manhattan repeatedly, tantalizingly brandishes—what is the truth, at least when it comes to writing? The answers implied by the narrative’s twists and turns are mostly disingenuous. Lies can be truths of sorts, Ian would have us belief; patent falsehoods can collapse into profundity, conceal something immensely significant.

Two Things I Learned On Project Runway

Season Eight of Project Runway premiered last night on Lifetime, the network for women, and I learned two things. For the first time in the show’s history, Heidi Klum is not pregnant. Ta-daa! I don’t know how many babies Heidi has, all I know is that it seems likes she is preggers every season. Girl, give that uterus a break.

The Internet: Where Crazy People Go to Date

I have gone on terrible Internet dates so you don’t have to. Take these stories, friends, learn from them, and pass them on. The stigma from computer dating is gone now, nearly everyone has tried it. Perhaps you yourself are considering it right now. First, read these. You’re welcome.


Christopher Drew is different and thus kind of cooler than other famous teenagers, like Justin Bieber, because he is an artist’s artist. Which is to say, the dude is a little cuckoo. And that his priorities aren’t necessarily all about making mad bank and getting his dick wet. Dude writes poetry and distributes it via MySpace for goodness sake.

Mad Men’s Don Draper Is Failing Harder

Don Draper. Donald. Draper. It’s a strong name. Masculine. The “DD” initials look good on cufflinks. If it wasn’t a made-up name it would be the kind of name a guy would want to have. But then again in the world of the show it’s not a made-up name, is it?

Best Coast: Crazy For You

Thus, the Best Coast story updates another age-old 60s concept outside of their music: pop-star mythmaking. Cosentino has crafted an unstoppably distinct web persona—bubbling with character, her online presence is why so many feel they can relate to her. She talks about everything from the Jersey Shore and Miley Cyrus to the Descendents and smoking tons of weed.

All the Drugs I’ve Taken in Chronological Order, Pt. 2 of 4

I was thinking about the poverty of Africans. I vomited in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and vomited again. I couldn’t stop hearing sentences repeating in my head. I tried to get in the shower and fainted. I woke up and crawled to the toilet and vomited. I was hearing demon-like noises coming from somewhere.

Bebe Zeva: Alt-Teen Par Excellence

Bebe Zeva is a seventeen-year-old hipster from Las Vegas, NV. In 2009, she rose to ‘microfame’ when she was featured on Hipster Runoff modeling the “I Am Carles” t-shirt line. She maintains two popular blogs (a Tumblr and a Wordpress), has 1,167 followers on Twitter, regularly recieves ‘mad hype’ on, and has been asked and answered over 2,000 questions on Formspring.

The Closet and the Clown

From the moment Pennywise the clown crawled out of the sewer and into the cultural landscape he has terrified horror fans. In this study of Stephen King’s 1986 opus It, John R. DeLamar Jr.

One of the Most Confused Articles on Gawker Ever

On Tuesday, Gawker covered one aspect of the legalization of medical marijuana with an article/ parody where, “in a bid to reassert itself as the dominant force in American life,” ‘Capitalism’ “announced that it plans to immediately counteract the coolness of the legalization of medical marijuana by poisoning it with the awfulness of factory farming.”

Factory-Farmed Hamster

The next eleven days the Factory-Farmed Hamster is force-fed pellets containing the meat/bones/tumors/fur of “fellow, deceased” Factory-Farmed Hamsters grinded—along with their “waste,” which often is scientifically  “not discernable” from their “bodies”—into a kind of paste that is “marinated” 4-8 hours in an antibiotic-hormone mixture and then dehydrated in gigantic microwaves.

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