For someone to explain where exactly snapchat pictures “disappear” to. (And until then, I’m not going anywhere near it.)
Marriage was the only real relationship model performed by the adults that filled my life. The lesson? Marriage was the glue that held individuals and families together.
This is delirium and we are swirling in it. How scary is Franco’s Alien? Is he gonna rape these girls? The film and Franco do an incredible job of maintaining that tension without ever resolving it.
I decided to remove myself from flat concrete and tarmac and show my body real challenge, real pain, not the pain of running dull, flat miles down polluted, crowded streets fractured by traffic lights. And suddenly I got somewhere.
Instead of facing the music, TAMRA rushes from the dinner table to have a solo cry and be consoled by the “Jewish Marry Poppins.” HEATHER’s purse did always seem to be holding an endless supply of items, but, in a Jewish kind of way.
Approximately eighty percent of buildings in New York City are brick, or brick masonry. This building, the one that we are in — where we are sitting on your bed and I am looking out the window — is not very far from where the Manhattan Brick Works was founded in 1863.
I won’t even begin to try to list the amazing things we’ve had the pleasure of watching Bryant do for all these years because I might run out of Internet.
This weekend, my cat died. It’s awful news. The kind of news you want to crawl up with for a week and beg to go away.
I didn’t think it was possible for a girl like me to find someone as special as you.
I spent the early morning handcuffed on the floor. Then I was handcuffed in the chair. Then eventually you did one of the only things you had ever done right by me. You let them know that I had zero part in the drug deals.
You have a ton of really nice furniture and you love to make people feel inadequate, so maybe in another life we could have dated for a few months.
This is one of my favourite Richard Brautigan novels, and I often feel alone in liking it so much.
Toss part of meat in an old iron skillet your grandfather gave you the day you shot your first buck. A flat stone covered in noseblood works, too.
If I do twenty more pushups before bed, that’s forty pushups total for the day. Nice.
My dad is gay and my mom is straight. They’ve been unhappily married for over 30 years.
Wade had sex with Karen and now I had to fire him. She was our top designer. And he was also starting to make fun of one of my partners behind his back. He’d do that roll-the-eyes thing whenever my partner spoke.
Wake up with alarm at 6 a.m.
I thought I was supposed to be achieving all my goals. This was “The Secret,” right? The American Dream?
This will hurt me more than it will hurt her, but I will do it anyway. This is the way it always ends.
Have you ever kissed someone and felt…well, nothing? That’s because it’s not our lips that makes us feel excited, it’s our brain.
It is here you will find that there is no background music to fade in and save you, that will swoop down and lend a helping hand to soften the blow or glamorize your experiences.
What comes next is all that’s being talked about. But all that’s being talked about is being talked about in a certain all-smiles way. Truth hurts, but the truth is a lot more valuable.
Here are my smart critiques that I think would really help Wes Anderson and his movies and I’m pretty sure he would agree with me I have a really good eye for art and design.
2. Even if you’re not looking at inappropriate content, when a nosey person comes up behind you and stares at your screen, you get defensive. It feels a lot like if someone walked in the bathroom and watched your boyfriend/girlfriend get dressed.
16. That first semi-awkward kiss you share together because you aren’t so sure how your mouths are going to fit together, but you make it through anyway. It’s all smooth sailing after that.
I saw you last night at the Diplo concert. When I felt your arm slip around me from behind I looked down and saw that you’d had your hand tattoo removed.
Reading is nature’s form of sleeping pills. Someone can’t kill you if they’re asleep.
Sometimes the people that your ex left you for were actually much better for them, and they are happier now, and they absolutely don’t regret leaving you to get with them.
We are all currently seeing countless friends and acquaintances announce, with a strange, almost demanding kind of fervor, that they are getting married. They post photos of rings and statuses of how happy they are, and accrue “likes” and comments from friends and people who aren’t remotely close enough to be invited to the ceremony.
You took something from me that I’ll never get back. I don’t hate you anymore; hate has been replaced with disgust.
Just as the first person you slept with turned out to not actually be your soul mate (even though it reeeeeally felt like it on that one camping trip), your first job was probably not the absolute professional “make or break” that you thought it was when you took it.
Post a cryptic status update.
I learned your stubble by observing how tired you looked…less hours meant more shadow and I liked it that way, dark but inviting.
I want to see you wake up every morning.
1. Always wait for him to make the first move.
Every so often an event occurs that encourages me to alter my point of view and arrive at the decision that massive changes need to occur in my life.
Tell yourself he likes you.
Growing up, there was nothing appealing about snowy mountains if you could not ski. And there was nothing appealing about skiing if you were a member of my family.
He got my number and texted me a couple weeks later asking me if I’m a virgin. I reply truthfully and tell him yes.
Special shout out to pita wraps, foods on sticks, and spaghetti for also being incredibly delicious, but essentially impossible to eat without looking like a rabid animal.
Obviously you can read because you’re reading this, so you must know there’s a heated debate about GM-food. For instance, the Food and Drug Administration is currently deciding whether they’ll introduce GM-meat into our diet.
I work out almost every day at a small gym shared by homeowners at a loft complex where I live in downtown Atlanta. At any given time there are anywhere between zero and seven people in there using the free weights or the cardio equipment.
The Internet is flooded with pictures of cute puppies. But this is the only place you can get that same cuteness in text form.
In the early hours of Saturday morning, after nearly seven years, three operating systems and two trackpad replacements, my 13-inch MacBook succumbed to what I can only assume was a combination of old age and complications related to a 2009 incident with Lemon-Lime Gatorade.
14. Flea markets. I’m in love with these damn things. Walk in with $10 and walk out with fresh pecans, some rusting knick-knacks, and a Bad Company LP. It’s like a mall for poor people.
We all promise we won’t lose touch. Friends forever. You’re like my brother. My sister. I won’t be gone for that long. We’re not going to change that much.
The paintings are quite, well, bad. Not Response to Hurricane Katrina bad, but bad nonetheless.
I have to take you in out of the corner of my eyes. If I can’t meet you head-on, it’s because it is all too much for me, all at once.
Before I get sucked into taking a stand to support my generation, let me clarify that I hate it too and also that this is all about Amanda Bynes.