You notice that steam curling over a hot bowl of food or cup of coffee never looks more enticing than directly after you come home from a walk and look like the vintage Campbell’s Soup snowman.
A make out session is only as good as the music playing in the background.
When someone’s anecdote begins, “It was so ironic…,” I wince; because what follows is almost never “ironic,” but instead more accurately categorized as “vaguely remarkable” or at best, “coincidental.”
No, not Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, or Randy Jackson.
What a girlfriend says vs. what she means/thinks.
Ranking Revolutionary Road and Yates’s 6 other novels.
When I’m ordering food and cuddling up with a movie…
With you, it often feels like those dreams where you want to say something — want to scream, want to get a point across, want to be heard — and your open mouth refuses to make a sound.
It’s a battle-of-the-sexes story about two twentysomethings who’ve just reunited in New York after their time spent in Japan with no money and no direction, but wanting both.
Every time a couple is happy on House Hunters, it’s because they have a stylish kitchen. You wanna argue with that, go ahead. But if my anecdotal watching of a home and garden TV show isn’t statistical evidence, I don’t know what is.
You can see her thoughts on manuscripts in real-time, including the reasoning behind her rejections.
This isn’t to depress you or make you think about death and get sad and stuff, it’s just a reminder that we’ve hit the jackpot having the opportunity of life.
The best way to deal with rejection is to realize that it’s universal and not a decision by the universe that you are unlovable and undeserving of love.
A small sample: a walking dog, a waterproof plunger, a toilet-themed restaurant and an absurd flying lawnmower. Enjoy.
As an underemployed 23-year-old who spends most of her money on booze, I have become uncomfortably good at stuffing my face with relatively healthy meals for practically no money. Allow me to share my wisdom!
They make fun of your clothing choices. Like, you get dressed, meet up with them and they say, “Oh man, is that what you’re wearing?” Yes. Because I am out of the house and outside this bar with you. So yeah, it’s what I’m wearing. Thanks for the self-consciousness.
Where I saved last night I find myself standing on a platform and the wind is blowing all muffled sometimes as if onto a microphone and there is music like you are about to go on a horse ride to somewhere you’ve never been with someone you sort of like.
Your mother is starting to take an active interest in the state of your love life. The second your mom cares about whether or not you’re getting laid, you know things are bad.
There is a god.
Everything — housing, food, drinks, activities — is more expensive. Places are harder to get tables at, harder to get into. Lines are longer. But isn’t that part of the thrill? That this love is never totally requited?
There are people whose love pours out in complicated, profound words. They could fill books on the way their partner looks when they just wake up, or how much they love spending time with their best friend.
Great Rutherford B. Hayes and Pat Buchanan jokes.
People living in destitution, in utter squalor, people whom we expect to be assuredly and unequivocally miserable; succeed in being far happier than we supposedly civilized people ever do.
Whether or not you’ve seen Pitch Perfect yet (and you definitely should), you may have seen an imitation or two floating around the internet of Anna Kendrick’s “Cups” scene, performing the song “You’re Gonna Miss Me.”
We appreciate you continuing to dispel rumors that a cure for the common cold was invented in 1952. It was not.
He can be called for basic training at any time and probably won’t finish the term. I consoled him with the thought that four months on a base in the South is better than a tour of duty in Vietnam.
You go see a Slick Rick concert at Brooklyn Bowl, and it’s awesome, and you’re feeling great. So then you head to a bar/restaurant around 12:30 or 1am, and eat dinner and get more drinks.
I like the moments when I’m sick and I need you so bad, and I hold you with all of dear life like you’re medicine and how that actually makes me feel better.
Even Disney doesn’t foist songs on children anymore. We’ve become either too cool or tone deaf.
One of the greatest moments in SVU is whenever Stabler or Benson pretend to get in a fight in front of a perp to “turn them.”
So that we can all dance and get drunk in peace.
Serial monogamy is not the way to find true love. Loving yourself is.
Today I played the I have a dog game. The I have a dog game is where I pretend that I have a dog. I called the dog Fitzherbert.
A good sketch show needs to have its own voice. A style of comedy that you can’t find anywhere else, and as obvious as that sounds, it’s not common.
I have power over my happiness precisely to the extent I take responsibility for it. You too. Same goes for achievement, wealth, discipline, even the state of the world itself.
New York is Thai take-out, long nights in the library, and drinks in Greenwich. It’s Emily, Matt, Heather, and Toni.
Now that children born when the N64 came out are getting their driver’s licenses, it may come as no shock that Atari, the venerable creator of Pong and the Atari 2600, has filed for bankruptcy.
When someone asks me to join them on the dance floor and I’m sober, I’m like…
I’m loling hard at this and feeling dumb but can’t stop loling.
It’s obvious why we love drinking so much. It enables us to be the person we can’t be while sober, to admit the things and make out with the people we wouldn’t be brave enough to approach otherwise.
Would an athiest president be sworn in on a stack of Marvel comics?
While the camp and cheese that was a Sex and the City (and Carrie) staple worked in the late 90s and early 2000s, it feels a little too optimistic and corny in 2013.
SO CLOSE TO GETTING MY ‘NSYNC REUNION.
Nowadays, it seems like whenever anyone displays an iota of self-esteem, people are quick to jump on them and scream, “OMG, humblebrag, seriously.” I mean most of the time it’s not even used correctly!
Soon, the crew comes out and brings them free season 6 DVDs and hot cocoa. Which is nice, but not cast member high-five nice.
There is something more difficult in losing the partner than losing the lover. You can almost accept that the sex, the kissing, the spooning, the whispered conversations at 3 AM are all over.
“What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone….”
Watching exactly where your money goes month in and month out will help you curb any behaviors that you may not have even noticed (yeah, you didn’t really need to buy a croissant with your coffee twice this week… you also didn’t need to buy coffee when your roommate has a coffee maker at home).
Whereas Taylor lives in fantasy, Lily sings about real-life, real-world freaking problems for women.
This is one of those rare movies for which I will get legitimately angry at people who say they don’t like it, and will force people to sit down and watch it on the spot if they claim they haven’t.