Gee, this should help you kill some time at work. Two weeks ago I received a promotional email about a New Yorker event: a reading by Joshua Ferris and Karen Russell. I was excited. But I was also surprised to see that they were touted in the ad as “20 under 40 writers.”
The Piano Teacher (2001) chronicles the psychological, emotional, and sexual pathologies of a lonely pianist whose obsession with her pupil turns from bad to worse. Known for transgressing boundaries and his ambivalence towards the audience, director Michael Haneke has evoked the following reactions from this contributor, whose sensibilities in film are fairly mainstream and conventional.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel is nicknamed ‘teflon’ because she “avoids risk and is rarely creative.” Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi knows how to party. In 2007 America engaged in a dangerous standoff with Pakistan over nuclear fuel. China hacked Google. Read more inside.
Most Black Friday brawls involve trampling. The one above involves a Walmart parking lot, Four Loko, and several high kicks from a drunk fat kid. This is America at its best. Watch and weep.
Nation, i.e. Fox News, posted an article in their culture section titled: Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail The title has been changed to “The Onion: Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail.”
I walked around the mall. Sydney and Mike bought me “Kissable Massage Lotion” from Victoria’s Secret. At some point, I saw the zombie people being escorted out of the mall by an overweight security guard.
Black Friday means no rules. Some people misinterpret it to mean “deep discounts,” but that’s not entirely accurate. The $100 flat screen TVs and truckloads of Silly Bandz are merely a distraction. In truth, Black Friday is a dry run for the end of days. And as far as dry runs go, the masses fail miserably–and on a grander scale–each year.
MAN: What are your influences?
MEGAN: “Your influences”? Mumblecore movies.
TAO: I like the, uh. Uh. I don’t know.
MEGAN: Stuff we like. Mumblecore.
David Wolf is pissed about the new “newly-minted and maximally-invasive TSA policies and practices” and has taken to his art as a way to profit, er protest, this gross breach of the third amendment.
My large drunk friend is about his size but at a serious disadvantage because he was unaware of where or who he is. The bartender pushes him. He stumbles, regains composure, and resumes swooning. His chin is resting against his chest and he looks on the verge of complete mental and physical collapse.
There’s a new show on Logo, the gay channel, and it’s so much better than that hot mess The A-List, a show I can’t fucking stand but must watch every week. It’s called 1 Girl, 5 Gays, and it’s like 5 gay dudes locked in a room with a lone straight chick (hot) who asks the dudes a bevy of questions about love and sex. Anything goes, people!
Berlin Scholars is a Yahoo Group for North Americans visiting or living in Berlin, Germany. I joined May 2007. Through it I found a gorgeous four-room apartment that cost less than one room in a Brooklyn ghetto. Berlin Scholars posts will often concern sublets, restaurants, bicycle shops, yoga studios, package shipping, etc.
The classic refrigerator experience involves heavy, hinged doors. You open these doors to browse your food assortment and close these doors once you have made a selection. Like all traditional things though, this experience is deeply flawed.
He mentioned that it was about zombies and said that I had probably seen the promotional posters in the NYC subways. I did not expect it to be a show that I would find very intriguing. I expected it to be television’s usual attempt at transforming a classic cinematic genre to fit the T.V. format, such as how True Blood or Dexter each turn their respective (vampire and serial-killer) genres into fairly formulaic television.
We’re all familiar with Target’s above par TV commercials. There’s always some ubercatchy jingle with lots of bright colors and/or near subliminal message-type flashes and “dings!” mixed in throughout. This holiday season, however, Target has definitely outdone itself by introducing what I’d like to call the “holiday hostess on crack.”
In this early interview with the Cleveland local news, Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor offers some thoughts about the cool new electronic music his band “Exotic Birds” is making. Obviously this was before he discovered The Cure and emptiness of life. Vintage video after the jump.
Around 3:20 it starts getting a bit awkward. Then he has the music turned down. I think I hear some “Oh my gods.” People begin laughing nervously. Then he talks blogs, his Pitchfork score, George Bush, Matt Lauer, and Taylor Swift in a defensive and uncomfortably long rant that’s mostly themed “Beleaguered Kanye West Against the World.” Video inside.
I took this photo on the set of a bukkake movie. If you’re not familiar with the term, it basically means a bunch of guys stand around and masturbate onto a woman. They turned this activity into a type of movie, first in Japan, and then in America. When I heard the word for the first time, it intrigued me. Bukkake is a good metaphor for pretty much everything American. We want it all, all the time. Until we are drowning.
Some faith is to be had; Hardwicke’s film Thirteen was a far cry heavier than the Twilight franchise, and she is not a stranger to the delicate and brutal inner workings of teenage girls. Because it is this percentage of the youth population who will flock to this film, it is a chance to reveal sexuality’s truths – the many beauties of it, and the many obstacles girls still face in their attempts…
It’s the work of a craftsman, a perfectionist whose attention to detail is evident in each drum pattern, each orchestral arrangement, each background vocal. Musically, the songs, especially gems like “Gorgeous” (featuring Kid Cudi and Raekwon) and “Lost In The World” (featuring Bon Iver), are layered in ways that we don’t expect from rap music.
“To us it’s more about being first, and having the whole experience of what this brings to you. We never thought we need to be first for any sort of firstness, just for our own firstness, to make ourselves happy and that we accomplished something, it was a personal goal.” Video inside.
Throw a holiday party with your friends. Wear a Santa hat, drink spiked cider and make out with someone under the mistletoe. And then in the bathroom. And then in your bed. Make a bad joke about Santa coming early this year. Get it?
Someone evidently went through the trash at an airport security area and is selling the discarded rubber gloves TSA employees now use to ‘grope’ passengers on Ebay. Why does this make me feel depressed?
Sometimes, being a girl must seriously suck. Not only do they have to deal with periods, unequal wages, childbirth and overall sexism, they have to deal with douchebags like this guy who flash you in the subway.
If I was this woman I might go to the hospital to sedate my fetus. Is this normal? Having second thoughts about pregnancy. Uncomfortable video of a fetus attempting escape the prison of its womb after the jump.
Abraham Lincoln is ready for his close-up. After years of starts and stops, and the coming and going of leading man Liam Neeson, who recently admitted that he probably is now too old for the part, director Steven Spielberg finally will bring Lincoln to the big screen.
Religion rules. We all know this. Because religion is obsessed with the rapture, the apocalypse. The end of all this day-to-day shit and the beginning of something supreme. Complete communication with others. Happiness. Love that wholly overcomes loneliness; a never-ending supply of virgins.
Sup Bro. Im 5’11 140 blonde/blue slim and toned. Just a normal guy looking to mess around with someone soon. I can host anytime this week. I’m pretty laid back and chill, not into anything too crazy. Looking for guys under 35 who are VGL and fit. Must be Discrete. No endless e-mails, I’m real and don’t have time for games. I only play safe and I’m not into drugs.
Since the age of twelve, one of my greatest dreams in life had been to snort a line of cocaine from a beautiful woman’s inner thigh. Meredith Simpson may not have been beautiful, but she at the very least was a woman. The dream had everything to do with my yearning to make my life worthy of narrative.
The future definitely includes an apocalyptic robot uprising. Five videos of five freaky ass robots after the jump.
For most, it comes down to this. If she fails, it will be because she is a woman. Ignore the fact that plenty of male head-coaches are fired and suffer through bad seasons. If she fails, it will be due to her gender; and if she succeeds, that will be subject to all kinds of spin and interpretation.
According to IMDb, there are fourteen actors that have played inscrutable pop artist and public figure Andy Warhol in movies. Seven were ‘dead leads’/‘red herrings.’ Here are seven filmic Andy Warhols of note.
Audience members laughed, cried, broke out in cold sweats, dropped to their knees and made praying motions while repetitively swaying back and forth, sobbed, yelled, screamed, jumped, covered their faces and more today on Oprah! Seriously. Video inside.
His film ends with a still frame of an officer, gun drawn, helmet on, looking terrified. The text says: “Demand Freedom, Join the Movement.” What movement? To corner a lone riot policemen in a parking garage, spin him around 15 times, take his baton, and then push him onto a car provoking him to draw his pistol that he then aims at the ground?
As you may already know, the Internet is full of sick and terrifying things. Now, there are two more gems you can add to that list.
“My wife came downstairs and shook me awake. The entire room smelled of Four Loko – it was like the worst prom after-party ever. I opened all the windows and walked upstairs, where I passed out again in bed. I slept fitfully for another four hours. When I woke up, I stank of the stuff. My mouth was dry and there was a giant sweat stain on the bed.” Video inside.
Some of the emails are boring, but some of them are interesting. Occasionally, I post them to my blog, usually without comment, but sometimes with, because I find them amusing, or idiotic, or baffling. When a new one washes up on the digital shores, you marvel at how this missive-in-an-email-bottle arrived upon your sands.
It’s a very short piece, but fascinating to see such fleeting moments slowed down to 1000 frames per second in crisp detail. What appeals to me so much about these types of videos, is how they dissect a few seconds of life and show us what we’re missing, what we’re unable to see.
Using statistical analysis, this UCF professor recently caught over 200 students cheating on a midterm exam. He proceeded to dedicate an entire lecture to how he caught them, how he felt, and what would happen if they didn’t come clean (they wouldn’t graduate). Shortly after the lecture, over 200 students admitted they had cheated. Video of the lecture inside.
A 12-story hotel in China recently fell over – in three seconds. How? A combination of poor choice of location, heavy rains, weak construction and physics. Lucky there weren’t other similarly constructed buildings close by, otherwise there might have been a domino effect. Video inside.
In observance of, and keeping with, the undue authority of this contributor’s position as a man, no additional research has been made in writing this, relying solely on personal observation, to further embrace the concession that much of what follows may be entirely wrong.
Your bro IMs you being like ‘sup’ and you respond ‘hang on, I’m in the middle of something at work’ and they reply ‘lol.’ Or you get an IM like ‘how are you,’ and you go ‘I’m okay, sick of the rain’ and they reply ‘lol,’ or you say ‘I’m good’ and they say ‘lol.’
I’ve been here for two months. I was planning to move to a large city, to get a job and a boyfriend and go see shows on the weekend and be young. And then my Grandmother was found on the cold, hard floor of her bedroom. She had a fall, broke her wrist and her cheekbone.
Ex-jetBlue employee Steven Slater, who went viral earlier this year by walking off his job by opening the emergency exit and sliding down the plane’s inflatable slide, has made a rap song called “I’m a Rapper Now, B*tches,” and a video to go along with it. Overall, it seems pretty embarrassing. Video inside.
Be vaguely acquainted with someone, see them, say “hi” to them, then sit somewhere in their line of sight with your laptop and stay there for as long as they stay there. Better yet, sit at the table opposite them, so whenever they look up from their laptop, they see your face.
Bad things can happen. People get pissed. Fights ensue. There’s a near hit and run. Video inside.
Oprah’s obsession with screaming is rivaled only by her doppelganger Harpo’s obsession with cold hard cash. It’s a joke beyond expiration. Saturday Night Live gave Oprah Scream its funeral back in the early Aughts. But seeing it in action is altogether different. It makes you wonder if she ever watches herself. If she sees what’s happening on screen and just says, “Looks great, broadcast it to the world.”
Here’s something you all should know: Cocaine makes everyone act like a giant asshole. Not only are you constantly licking your gums and looking insane, you’re saying the silliest things to whoever you’re doing it with. Because I’m so interested in making the world a less coked-out place, I’ve taken the liberty of creating a typical conversation one would have while under the influence of cocaine.
Ted Sabarese is New York City based portrait and advertising photographer. He studied at Parsons and describes his work as “clean, graphic, character-driven.” The following gallery “Office Wear” depicts workers with clothes made entirely of office supplies.
No idea about the context of this video other than that it appears to be at an amusement park, perhaps behind the stage of an ongoing concert, and possibly in a country that is not the United States. In any case, these mascots are pretty pissed. Video inside.