Aladdin didn’t believe in smart purchases or investing in things that would appreciate over time. He came from nothing, and was not used to having money. All the cash came at once and he did what many a rapper does — spend, spend, spend.
Will you still be interested in all of the things I have to say, all of the coincidences we took as divine intervention last night when we were only so happy to tell each other how we feel?
Chicken Little feared the sky was falling.
i want an army of lovers who defend me and help me w/ my problems comb my hair and keep my house clean and spread rumors about my enemies
You are here today because celebrity nudity journalism is your calling.
I saw how it empowered the most important male figure in my life and even though I didn’t want to be anything like him I may have been trying to find that power.
Of course, the appeal of the hot neighbor is impossible to deny; how can you consistently rebuff a lovely visage you see every day on the stairs?
while thinking about girl, thought ‘i wish her feet were my pillow.’
I would like to try these new blue cheese tortilla chips, so I will open the bag here at the supermarket and have a few.
RAPHAEL9X9: you got a second babe?
I’m 31, have had three long-term relationships, and recently realized I’m totally ready to settle down.
I’m sorry, but using the word ‘privilege’ to describe everyone who doesn’t have a problem that specifically validates your own personal agenda is insulting.
I met Anne the summer before third grade. It was an arranged meeting, like a blind date, and we were both as nervous as people who are about to go on a blind date.
You set eyes on your date and immediately hate everything about them: their hair, their voice, their name.
The following playlist is made up of my favorite songs from snowboard videos of the era.
1. Jennifer Lawrence is dynamite in it.
Be able to see the tweet that caused a certain person to unfollow you.
The future, which once seemed so promising, is now precarious for Azealia Banks. While I don’t think that her sparring with other celebrities should have a negative impact on her career, I believe that she should be mindful of how she treats people in the industry.
When you post something to your blog or profile, make sure you credit it from where it came from, or at least make it a click-through. Don’t just steal people’s work willy-nilly.
You said if I told you the truth you would let me take them tesses I failt, so I am telling you now the truth.
2. Like They’re Dead People And You’ve Only Got 5 Of The Senses.
This week, we bring you two more participants — Giacomo Por from Milan and Juan Pascual from Madrid.
In the past year I have consolidated most of my online activity onto Facebook. This is as surprising to me as it is to any Facebook naysayer reading this. I used to be one of you.
“I love hiking too!” Applies to LA internet dates only.
Drinking is best done slowlllllyyyyyyy. Think of it as like a car and you’re the one behind the steering wheel. Now you have two choices: you can either drive yourself to victory in a puttering Pinto or break the speed limit in a Jaguar and reach a James Dean-style fate.
Here’s someone surprising his girlfriend with an improvised, egregiously off-key song expressing his deep and pure love for her.
If Petter really respected Cathrine, why treat her like a prize he’s won for going viral?
Ugh, why are you doing this to me? Haven’t we been through this before? I know it clears up with a pill or two, but still. It kind of sucks for me overall.
But then you pass by the candy aisle, and that voice in the back of your head which is like “What are you earning an actual salary for if not to be able to buy yourself giant bags of mini Reese’s cups at random?”
He says they got into a fight and she pushed his head.
Seriously. Just drop it and come enjoy a few minutes of intense, aural stimulation.
The one who lets their alarm go off FOREVER.
My team was backpacking through a rainforest in New Zealand, and the weather was what might best be termed as “biblical.”
A new song has hit the beloved YouTube by singer/songwriter duo, Garfunkel & Oates — and it’s about getting plowed in the bum to appease the tough rules of Christianity.
He looks like he’s set to star in a Bollywood version of ‘The Outsiders.’
Do something with your life. I instated 23 executive actions today. What’d you do — eat a Hot Pocket?
With ‘Revenge,’ I’m obsessed with what happens to these characters — even the ones that I hate.
It has that guy from the Hangover… no, not the funny fat one, the other one.
You should not be wearing a face full of makeup and worrying about what you look like when you’re there. You should not be consulting a doctor about getting your sweat glands snipped so as not to look like a human lawn sprinkler during the spin class with the cute guy two rows down.
Stay away from me, Tumblr foodies. You’re all life-ruiners.
Not only was this was my most dignified and regal yack location to date, but it was the beginning of a legacy. In the coming decades I’d be leaving my guts in some truly idyllic settings.
That girl only said “Hey, how’s it going?” because she wants him to ask for her number. And that guy only held the door open because he wants that girl sooo bad.
Pretend your hangover doesn’t exist. Ignore its constant texts to hang out. Ignore all the symptoms. Be in complete denial and convince all of your friends go to kayaking and/or rock climbing all day.
If you ever wondered what the show would be like without Jenna Maroney and with Debbie Downer, here’s your big chance.
Write a letter of complaint to Netfix when they send you the movie Mr. Right starring popular inoffensive lesbian Ellen DeGeneres instead of an actual Mr. Right.
Swartz’s lawyer called it “an important victory for human rights.”
10. Go to a restaurant you’ve never actually been to and order something unique off of the menu. No cheeseburgers or salads, nothing you’ve had several times – and preferably something you struggle to pronounce.
Like pulling up a weed from the flower, token victories, while undoubtedly important, can cloud our vision and prevent us from fighting against the root of social systems that make such victories necessary in the first place.
The difference between a mediocre day and an awesome one can be as simple as allowing yourself to go into a vaguely catatonic state under a scalding-hot showerhead for a few minutes. We all owe ourselves the occasional pleasure.
They’ve translated the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song through every language in Google Translate (that’s 64 languages) and then back into English.