We could have been civil. But you were not civil, were you? You played the long con. You were in it to win it. And win it you did.
Years ago, my Uncle Butch made a lot of money in the stock market. Apparently random people with no real knowledge of finance can actually do that.
You’re never going to carry a discman. Remember when you had to hold that thing in an exact, upright position or it would start skipping?
Hidden as the seat of a car, YouTube user/comedian MagicofRahat records fast food employees’ reactions from drive-through employees attempting to make sense of the ghost car that just drove up to their window.
“She’s ugly” turned into “she’s okay.” “She’s okay” turned into “she’s hot.” And “she’s hot” turned into Cassie Ventura.
It’s super subtle in a way that fashion-y shows like Gossip Girl and Zooey Deschanel on New Girl could never dream of being but I think the secret best dressed person on TV is Jenna Maroney.
If only you weren’t wearing gloves, then it would better because touching is better than most things.
But if you can leave when you need to, or leave when you must, home is not really home.
A safe space in the Mormon church “where LGBT individuals, as well as those questioning their orientation, can associate with like individuals, ask questions, and know that they are not alone.”
I have had several sexual partners in my life, but I won’t tell you how many, because it doesn’t matter.
While many march to the beat of their own drum, some folks treat life like a game of Simon, trying to match the colors and tones of others. Specifically you.
Studio, Brooklyn, downstairs from a chocolate factory so the apartment smells like chocolate all day long, hope you don’t mind.
Peter Pan was determined to grow up and become a man.
Everyone hates you and your stupid relationship. Everyone secretly makes fun of your constant back-and-forth of “love u baby” on your respective timelines. Everyone is going to quietly rejoice when the two of you finally break up — and you will.
The man reacted to this development by moaning incomprehensibly.
We all want the same two things: to fulfill our desires and to avoid suffering. These two motivations, and the behavior they inspire, comprise the human condition. There is nobody on this earth with whom you don’t have at least those two things in common.
“Did you know that if you skinned Larry King & ironed out his leather, you could make enough coats to give 1 to every poor child in America?”
And yet, everywhere from the lyrics of One Direction songs to the judgmental commentary of bare-faced friends, the societal feelings about what it means to be a girl who changes her appearance are hard not to notice.
Stewart calls for rationality and honest discussion in this hysterically partisan debate.
Despite his “zany” style of comedy and physical expression, I imagine Martin Short for the most part enjoys clean, straightforward sex.
You are closed off. So closed off and sometimes it feels good to be the only one who can disappoint you, doesn’t it? By never relinquishing your power, you are never at the mercy of other people. Perfect, right?
These kids are very loud, very plasticine, and somewhat hillbilly.
I know a strange amount of people who got married right out of high school not out of a need to be with this person, but because it was “the thing to do.”
You’d rather come up with excuses, or sabotage, or not try at all than try and fail, than to prove right what you think everyone believes about you and so what you believe about yourself.
If someone suddenly and magically disappears into thin air right when you need them most, that person is fake.
Family secrets are powerful things.
Why are they all white? Why are they all the daughters of other celebrities? Why does Adam go from being a twisted freak to one of the most endearing, awesome characters on TV?
Lemme get in on Treat Yo-Self Day!
No offense to Chris O’Dowd, but being from Ireland took his hotness scale up about 10 points.
When will I stop imagining what you look like with other people, or even how many of these “other people” have been a part of your life since I left?
The irony of the icebreaker is that I learned absolutely nothing about anyone, because I was too busy freaking the hell out.
It’s important that I never forget you, although I have a feeling that it’s not entirely up to me. Time dictates what gets remembered and what gets left behind. I’m at the mercy of the clocks. Sure, I can make suggestions and forceful nudges but at the end of the day, I’m powerless.
At KYLE’s estate, she invites her connected Hollywood friend MARISA over to do a private yoga sesh in her backyard.
They will fight you, kicking and screaming, and still not realize they are in trouble.
There is something beyond “how” things work, something beyond the laws and physical reality of the universe.
Undressed, MTV’s own soap opera about youth culture and college life, showed sexually active young people faced with very important problems we were probably all facing at exactly the same time.
The sole reason #cut4bieber is still trending is people using the hashtag to decry its purpose.
Talk about the party you went to last weekend, even though you literally just sat in the corner the entire time and played with/talked to the house pet.
Occasionally I think about the fact that, as of the last time I checked, the comedian and late-night TV personality Jay Leno had five serious girlfriends or wives, and they all share the same birthday.
Apparently, Franco posted this on his WhoSay account, which honestly I don’t know what that is but, he took it down, but someone preserved it on YouTube, for future James Franco art exhibit curators.
Festivus was actually not created by George’s father, Frank Costanza. The fake holiday was created well before the series was even conceived in 1966 by an editor of Reader’s Digest named Dan O’Keefe, who created it to celebrate the anniversary of his first date with his wife.
Features Bowie and a woman’s disembodied heads chilling in a workshop behind a video screen (?).
I think the idea here is that, even if you’re having sex (of which you should not be having too much, because God forbid you break your vagina and lose the warranty or something) you shouldn’t be sharing.
Me? I’m nobody.
It’s not that people like this are bad people, bad friends or toxic friends; they just require more work to be friends with than what is emotionally healthy.
I’ve never defied my parents.
he is a ‘long struggling poet’ with ‘extreme reverance for art’ and is thus pretty socially isolated and critical towards me in sort of obvious ways
I think if Kitty Pryde and Grimes made a track together Tumblr would break.
I won’t call it the best, since a sense of humor is subjective, but it’s safe to say that Happy Endings is amongst the top comedy series’ currently on television.
In a perfect world where leprechauns dance in the sky and all the Kardashians are infertile, Pfeiffer would have reprised her role as Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises.