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The 6 Kinkiest U.S. Presidents

John Tyler did some serious work in the White House — and I’m not talking about the 1844 Treaty of Wanghia — he fathered 15 children with two different women in his 71 years on this planet.

I Am Proud To Be A “Needy Girl”

I have seen the title “needy” be applied to so many different women for so many different reasons (including myself, at more than one point), that it has begun to seem the punishment given for the crime of wanting to be loved.

A Review Of Popular Fruit

Have you ever seen just one red grape hanging out alone in the park reading a book? When’s the last time you heard of a single grape signing up for an Outward Bound solo? Never, the answer is never.

Love Can Be Terrifying

Lurking in the backdrop, capable of abruptly appearing when we least expect it, attacking aggressively before we have time to think – slicing our hearts, and even haunting our dreams.

5 Things I Hated As A Kid But That I Love Now

When you were a kid, there was such a thing as “cooties”, which basically just meant that someone was being physically affectionate with you. Clandestine smooches on the playground, a playful rub on the neck: these things were considered to gross behavior. As you get older though, one can never have enough cooties!

Why Are You Having Sex With That Person?

Maybe I would’ve felt differently about sex if I cared about most of the people I was with. I tried, I tried, and I tried to muster up some feelings that resembled love—these were all good men, not one-night-stands— but the more I tried, the worse I felt and was certain that I was broken somehow

Boyfriend.0

Ah, yes. I see the beefy “Broyfriend” has caught your eye. He’s an older model, really peaked in sales around 2006 but still very popular. He comes with a red Solo cup, which is of course re-fillable.

5 Texts I Will Over-Analyze

You were just that overcome with emotion that instead of saying anything, your slovenly self decided to just type a colon and half a parentheses in response to some of the most mundane anecdotes from my day?

Shopping The House Of The Dead

There’s a certain sense of guilt associated with dragging children into a strange house to look through the belongings of people who are most likely dead, infirmed, or in some state of personal or financial distress.

Songs For College In Massachusetts

Listen to this on the way to a trashy party in Allston. Ride the T to the Harvard Avenue stop with a bottle of gin in your purse, but still stop at Blanchard’s before you head over. Pass a group of rowdy girls headed to Model Cafe. Pass a bunch of bros bummed The Kells closed. Pass someone puking.

The 10 Worst People At A Party

Lucky us! We all get to awkwardly move around this couple like a school of drunk fish avoiding a shark while they play out their melodramatic Romeo + Juliet film-student adaptation.

The Black Guy Who Acts “White”

I started referring to schoolmates using the “n word,” to assure that my blackness be solidified. Unfortunately it was the second most unnatural sounding word out of my mouth, directly behind “aight,” (an alternate pronunciation of the word “alright”).

Where Have All The Rockstars Gone?

I don’t know The Hills from The Hills Have Eyes, nor if Jennifer Aniston is ovulating. I’m told there’s a girl on Glee in a wheelchair and that “The Situation” is an orange person, but that’s about it.

Do We Even Want To Get Married?

One only has to look at the kind of response women get when they say they don’t want to have children to understand the degree to which these life choices are not entirely choices anymore.

What Food Teaches Us About Life

There are so many expressions which reiterate the importance of indulging every now and then: “all work and no play,” “early to rise and early bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead,” and my all-time-favorite, “treat yo self!”

I’m Bad At Having Crushes

Sometimes opposites attract and sometimes… they’re just opposite. It’s okay! It’s no one’s fault. Chemistry is hard to come by. There’s a reason why so many people fail it in high school.

Just Freaking Call Me

For a long time I’ve dreamed of a world where everything could be taken care of via text. Whether it’s scheduling a doctor’s appointment, managing job responsibilities, or ordering late-night delivery, I wish I could send a text for whatever I needed, receive a personalized confirmation, and not be bothered anymore.

5 Things Fake People Do

The thing about gossip is, no matter how much you enjoy it in the moment (and we all kind of have our ugly moments of saying something nasty about someone that we wouldn’t say to their faces), you know it is probably happening behind your back, too.

Dear Men From My Past

So I punished you. I started fights with no purpose, cheated with no regret, and nitpicked until you hated to be around me. In turn, you lashed out or cried or panicked. And I took it. And you took it. And deep inside, we both hurt.

The Good Old Days

And when my friends tell me “Man, I wish we could just go back there. Life was so much better back in high school, you know?” it pisses me off. Because they are falling for the oldest trick in the American book.

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