She felt small. She felt controlled. Worst of all, she felt like there was no way out.
How did something so awful become such a normal feeling for her? Why could she not see parts of her breaking off and vanishing as their relationship progressed? Why did one happy moment make the five nightmares he caused her to suddenly be okay?
Blinded by the world’s definition of abuse, she never thought that she could be the victim.
He never laid a hand on her, but her entire body felt bruised.
He never laid a hand on her, but somehow the scars within her soul were adding up quickly. He never laid a hand on her, but every time he drank the verbal hits were more painful than a physical one could have ever been.
So here I am wondering, when did it all become okay? When did mental abuse become acceptable in her life and more importantly why didn’t she stop it?
Love is blind, and the fear of letting go is stronger than the fear of losing one’s self in the process.
She was independent, adventurous, a beautiful mess that radiated positivity wherever she went. But the deeper he sunk his teeth into her, her body filled with his venom and the weaker those qualities within her became. The thought of losing the life she built with him made her weak at the knees, and she just couldn’t bring herself to end it. She always said if he made her happier than he made her sad, then the relationship was worth fighting for—but then one day it all became clear to her.
Even on her worst days, she should never feel insignificant, during their worst fights she should never feel unappreciated, and every day she woke up, she should not have to fear what side of him she was going to get—but there she was doing exactly that.
She finally decided that it was time to let go—to suck the poison out of her life before it consumed her whole being. She made an interesting discovery as their story was coming to an end—she never needed him, he just made her feel like she did.
Despite his effort to diminish her value, she was never indebted to him. He had nothing that kept her from walking away. Once she was able to remove the blindfold he had on her for so long, she realized that it was her that he needed. He needed someone to put down so he could build himself up. He needed someone to control, so he didn’t feel weak. But in those last moments of her time with him, she recognized something about herself that she will forever be grateful for—no matter how fatal he thought his venom was, there was never enough to make her forget who she is and what she deserves.
She now knows that no matter who tries to knock her down, they will fail miserably. She is stronger than she believes and smarter than she gives herself credit for—and it is because of her relationship with him that she will never let anyone manipulate her thoughts and feelings ever again.
So thank you to the guy who mentally abused my best friend, you fueled her power.