Think about the concept of happiness—something we all strive to be every day. A concept that sometimes feels unattainable, yet we fantasize about when this emotion will fill our souls and consume our bodies. We are waiting for that fleeting moment where we can just sit back, take a deep breath, and finally say the three words we so desperately want to feel every moment of every day—“I am happy.”
But think about your self-growth. Think about the periods of time that led you to be your most genuine self. What state of mind were you in that caused you to become someone that you are proud of? The truth of the matter is, we don’t improve and grow as human beings during the moments that we are happy—we grow from the obstacles we face during the journey of life.
So what was I feeling when my blinders came off and I realized the kind of person I wanted to be? In that moment I experienced disturbing emotions—I experienced anger, fear, loneliness, and resentment. I felt lost and became numb to certain people and certain things. That moment, those feelings, that day—well, it changed everything.
Happiness is wonderful, but it is a comfort zone. We are so focused on reaching this destination that we forget that it is the excursion that shapes us.
It is through your struggles and defeat that you mature the most.
When I think about my past, the happy moments all seem to be blurred together—what I remember distinctly are the hard times and tough conversations that were necessary to find my inner peace. Those moments are so tough to go through, but now you look back and you don’t recognize that person anymore, do you? That person is a stranger to you now, right?
In those moments, you developed qualities that changed who you were going to be for the rest of your life. You became better, smarter, resilient, and the kind of person you didn’t know you could ever be—without even realizing it, you became happier.
Do I want to be happy? Yes. Do I want the road to happiness to be easy? No.
As silly as it sounds, happiness is not something that we are meant to feel constantly—it’s a reward.
I used to believe being happy all the time was the ultimate goal to a healthy life, but I realized that you should never be ashamed of the scars life has left you with along the way.
A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means that you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. Now I understand—those scars, those moments where you have hit rock bottom, those are the key to happiness. I finally grasped why happiness is something people are constantly struggling to achieve— some people aren’t willing to embrace their scars and continue on. Instead they wallow in self-pity and refuse to get back up.
At the end of the day, it is important to remember one thing; Happiness doesn’t teach you to be happy—sadness, confusion, heart break, and loss does. So my advice; keep going.