
The inner monologue of my insecure mind when I agreed to go on a date with a major league, professional baseball player in my prominent city.
I donāt understand cars or really care, but if I had to guess, I would say this one looks pretty fancy. Although itās white, and arenāt guys who drive white sport cars supposed to be conceited? Itās a pretty douchey car to drive. But then again, Iām a pretty terrible person to be judging someone because of their car. But, I mean really, what is he trying to compensate for with this oh-so-ostentatious vehicle? Yes, Iām using big words like ostentatious in my mind, I am an English major after all. Ok, heās getting out, Iāve got to act normal, who cares if itās a BMW or Jaguar or Panther or Mountain Lion or whatever expensive car name it is. I go in fancy cars all the time. Right? Wrong. But he doesnāt need to know that. Or that you never go on lavish dates or that your high school boyfriend who spent time in jail took you on your first date to 7-11. Act normal. Be calm.
āReady?ā
I smile up at his tall stature and say yes.
Oh damn, maybe I was a little too eager there, should I have played it cool? Like, āyeah, whatever, I guess Iām ready Mr. Pro Athlete, I have a hockey player picking me up later so Iām not that excited about you.ā No, thatās not true, God, Rebecca, donāt start off this date with a lie. Do I bring up the fact that minutes prior to this date all my roommates were asking if they could get free tickets to his games? Hell, I wonder if he can get me season tickets. I wonder if itās weird that I have his name on the back of a t-shirt? Better not tell him that, or mention anything about tickets, I wouldn’t want him to think heās dating a āfan.ā Maybe I should pretend I know nothing about baseball and that I donāt have the entire dialogue of The Sandlot memorized, or that I stalked, I mean glanced at, his bio on the teamās webpage.
*rap music blares from the radio and I stare at it*
āNot a rap fan, huh?ā
No dude, I absolutely love when songs say āpussy pussy pussyā as Iām on a first date with a guy; talk about uncomfortable.
āSorry not really.ā
Heās so tall, I mean how does he even fit into this little sports car? And since heās a right handed pitcher I wonder if heās way more muscly on that side of his torso. He probably walks off balance because his un-proportioned right side weighs him down.
*He goes to change the radio station and asks what I would like to listen to*
He changed the channel, how sweet! That is compromise right there, this will be so great when we move in together and I ask him for the bigger side of the closet. God, Iām a psycho, this guy isnāt even that great, stop thinking about the future.
We approach the restaurantās door and he enters first, not bothering to hold open the door or allow me to walk in before him.
Seriouslyā¦you arenāt gonna hold the door open for me? Where the hell are you from? Why would you not be a gentleman on the first date and hold open my door. It was bad enough you didnāt open it for me when I got in or out of your car, but the restaurant door, you just let it shut in my face! Okay, I guess you’re used to models throwing themselves at you and maybe you have been living this life of luxury for so long that you forgot your manners. Then again⦠maybe you were trying to do me a favor because youāre a feminist and donāt want to offend me by letting me think I need a man to open a door for me.
āYou look beautiful.ā
Oh my God, he said Iām pretty. No, he said Iām beautiful! I canāt remember the last time someone other than my mom called me pretty. This rich, attractive, athletic man just called plain, old me beautiful. I have changed my mind, I donāt care if he didnāt hold open my car door or the restaurant door, hell Iāll pay for the meal. Iām fine with him simply paying me in compliments. And the way his blue eyes look against that tan skin of his and how his eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled, Iām melting. Wait, heās gonna think Iām insecure if I act shocked, no, I need to pretend that itās totally natural to be complimented, as if I get called pretty all the time.
I seriously need to calm down and stop getting my hopes up, lets search for some flaws on this beautiful greek god stature of a man. Well, honestly, he is a little too tan now that I really look at him. He must not wear sunscreen when he plays. I hope he doesnāt get a skin disease from being outside for a living. In fact, the way his eyes crinkled as he smiled which I adored earlier, is on second glance, quite terrifying because he is only 26, why do his eyes have so many wrinkles? He should definitely get his skin tested.
*I reply to his compliment of āyou look beautiful” as we sit across from one another in a booth*
āOh thanks, I just got off work.ā
Like hell I did. I definitely did not just get off work. I actually spent extra time getting ready tonight so I would look like I didn’t spend time getting ready. I donāt think guys realize how difficult it is to pull off the ānatural look.ā There is a fine line between just woke up and just woke up with mascara and concealer on.
Damn, why did I suggest we go to this restaurant? Itās better than 7-11, but itās kind of a dive. Oh yea, I remember why I suggested it, itās because Iām a cool low-maintenance girl; burgers and beer totally describe my lifestyle. Iām so chill.
What do I order? I really want a salad but I donāt want him to think Iām one of those girls who doesnāt eat, Iām going to have to get a burgerā¦but I donāt really like burgers.
āHi what can I get you?ā
Shit, go away waiter, Iām having an internal crisis over here. Iāll stare at my menu so he has to answer first. Okay heās getting a burger and beer, now I have to get a burger, dammit.
āIāll be right back with those drinksā
Alright now itās just us two. No menus or music to distract usā¦what the hell do we talk about? Baseball? But if I remember correctly most people hate talking about work, but is that work for him? It shouldnāt be, heās super lucky that he has that job, most people work nine to five jobs and the rest of the country is unemployed, heās such a jerk if he complains about his job.
āYea I go to Georgia next weekā
Okay he doesnāt seem like heās complaining and my vast knowledge of baseball seems to impress him, obviously, I was the 10 and under softball champion after-all, I could school him in this sport. To be honest, heās been sucking hardcore lately, do I mention how itās completely obvious when he is going to throw a curveball every. damn. time.? Thatād be really rude of me to mention, but someone once told me that guys like bitchy girls. But how could that actually be true because isnāt kindness the best way to attract someone? Iām gonna just give up and drink some more. Blue moon will give me the answers.
Our date continues for three and a half hours. Weāre practically kicked out of the humble restaurant as our seven oā clock date ends around eleven thirty. The waiters clank dishes as they clean up and we peer around to realize weāre the only ones left in the restaurant. He grabs my hand after paying the check and we walk back to his car.
I donāt even find it weird that weāre still sitting here. He sure as hell aint coming into my house, but I donāt want to leave the car either because I donāt want the night to end. Do I kiss him? Do I wait for him to make the move? Iāll just keep talking. I actually have no idea what Iām even saying, Iām just rambling and ā¦oh God I canāt stop looking into those gorgeous eyes. Am I blushing? Thatās embarrassing I should justāā
*he leans across the seat, grabs the back of my head and kisses me*
Holy Hell, that was the greatest kiss of my life. Stop smiling, you probably look like a lunatic who just escaped from the asylum. But my God, that kiss, not even a kiss, a man kiss, a proper man kiss, I never been kissed by a man before. That was the most intense kiss of my life, I think I got pregnant from that kiss. Get out of the car, donāt ruin it with your awkward silence. Thankfully heās smiling too, so he must have enjoyed it. I wonder if heās staring at my ass as I walk. Don’t turn and wave from your porch, thatās so weirdā¦but I wanna know if heās still there. Itās sweet if he waited in his car before speeding away to be sure I got in safe. But, whatever you do, donāt be an idiot and turn around and wave or some shit.
*I turn around like an idiot before opening my front door and wave or some shit.*