10 Secret Perks Of Being A Girl


There’s a super fun trend happening right now where girls like to cry about how terrible ALL men are, which doesn’t make sense to me because Jared Leto is a man and he’s basically the polar opposite of terrible. The sentiment is obviously total rubbish. If you need another example just to be sure Jare-bear isn’t the exception to the rule, also see Johnny Depp and Kevin Bacon. Anywho, this all started with that Beyonce song, If I Were A Boy, which featured the lyrics “If I were a boy, even just for a day, I’d roll outta bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go. Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls. I’d kick it with who I wanted and I’d never get confronted for it.” I felt embarrassed even typing that just now. When did playing the victim card become okay? This song makes being a guy sound awesome and being a girl sound really sad and boring, like guys frolic around doing crazy fun activities and girls are smelly losers who sit at home and cry. This just isn’t true, but a lot of people think it is and you’re probably never going to change their minds, so it’s best to concentrate on the positives. I’ve listed ten, even though there are plenty more. And yes, I realize you probably won’t want to take advantage of all of them, but just know that the option is always there- that should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

  1. You can easily cheat on your boyfriend without getting caught. No one thinks girls cheat, everyone thinks guys cheat. People will automatically keep a close eye on him and they’ll just think you’re at home knitting or something.
  2. You can be the biggest pervert and no one will ever really take it seriously, so no worries. No one will accuse you of being a creep for heading to the male strip club regularly. They’ll just think you’re being hilarious and ironic.
  3. You can talk as much trash as you want to guys without facing physical consequences, unless you come across a dirty hillbilly who likes to rough up women (in which case, you should probably re-evaluate who you associate with).
  4. You can punch your boyfriend in the face with every intention of making him cry really hard and it isn’t seen as abusive, but passionate…sometimes even hot.
  5. You can be really self-indulgent and it’s viewed as perfectly acceptable behavior. Regularly throwing away hundreds of dollars on clothes and makeup just means you take good care of yourself.
  6. You can cry and it’s not weird or creepy and it usually gets you what you want.
  7. You can pretend you don’t know how to do things if you’re just feeling lazy and there’s a good chance someone will swoop in and do it for you…and if they don’t, you can just make them.
  8.  You can be an obsessive stalker and no one seems to take issue with it (late night drive-bys are the new blocked call)
  9. You can mooch off your parents after college for a substantially longer amount of time than a guy can before you’re called a total loser.
  10. You get a lot of glory for your successes. People will make a big deal out of the fact that you’re a girl who did something awesome. You can be the ultimate underdog… even if you haven’t had any adversity to overcome and it was barely difficult for you. TC Mark

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