white icing coated cake

An Open Letter To The Cake In The Work Breakroom

Dear cake in the break room at work,

I was on my way to the refrigerator to retrieve the healthy snack I had brought from home (a Yoplait Light & Fit yogurt cup with sliced fruit) when I passed you.

You were just sitting there on the counter in all of your cream-covered, custard-filled glory. My poor yogurt and fruit didn’t stand a chance against you. You were beckoning to me in that way you always do. You were pleading with me to take a bite, just one little bite, as if one bite would ever be enough to satisfy me. You know I have a weakness for you. You’re like that ex that I never quite got over, even after years of trying and lots of therapy. Of course, our relationship is purely one-sided and always has been. I am in love with you and you’re completely indifferent to me. “Eat me or don’t eat me,” you would say if you could talk. “It doesn’t make a bit of difference to me. If you don’t eat me some other weak, pathetic (and probably not even hungry) woman will”.

I wish I could say I fought the good fight. I wish I could say I stood my ground and didn’t give in to you, but we both know the truth.  Your pull was just too strong and I am just too weak. At first it was just a little frosting. Then some cake, but just a little. But as the day went on, a little bit turned into a lot, and before I knew it, I was sneaking a full plate of you back to my desk and devouring you as quickly as I could, destroying the evidence before any of my coworkers could see just how low I had sunk. So much for my resolution to lose weight. So much for my diet and exercise plan. I had officially lost control. You made me lose control. You turned me from a rational, healthy eating, regular exerciser (which I had been for the whole two weeks prior) to a sugar-obsessed maniac, willing to sacrifice it all for one measly piece of cake.

You and I have been here before.  And I’m sure we’ll be here again. I always vow that next time I will be stronger. Sometimes I am. But sometimes, like today, I’m not. I gave up meat a few years ago. You’d think giving up sweets would be easy after giving up meat, but not so much. I envy those people who say they don’t like sweets. I envy them but also don’t understand or fully trust them. Who doesn’t like sweets?

I want to think that someday I will be able to live a life free from your torment. One where I can just take you or leave you. But I don’t see how that could happen, with you being so delicious and me being so in love with your deliciousness. I guess, what’s one piece of cake in the grand scheme of things, really? I can always restart my diet plan tomorrow. But since the day is basically wasted already, I may as well go and have another slice of cake. If there is still any of you left, that is.

About the author
Rebeca Gomez is an office monkey by day / writer by night. She grew up in a tiny town in Northern California that no ... Read more articles from Rebeca on Thought Catalog.

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