Dear Bank That Canceled My Credit Card,
Open letters seem to be all the rage these days. Every time I turn on my computer I see a new one. Most of them are about politics or the environment or something important like that. I’m not really sure. I don’t usually read them. At first, I wasn’t even sure what an “Open Letter” was, but now I’ve googled it, which makes me an authority on them and qualifies me to write my own. Now that I know what they are, I might write more of them.
But I’m getting off topic. Back in September, you, the bank that shall not be named, sent me a letter informing me that you were ending our relationship. You said that things weren’t working out between us and that you thought it was best if we went our separate ways. You phrased it just like that. Like you were my boyfriend and you were breaking up with me. I’m sure you thought you were being really cute and funny, but there is nothing funny or cute about the pain you have caused in my life. And all because I didn’t use your card enough. In some circles showing that kind of restraint is considered a virtue. But not in your world. In your world it’s considered grounds for ending a relationship.
I get that life is full of rejection. I’ve had my share of unfulfilled dreams, jobs that got away and guys who decided to go with the more qualified candidates. But I never expected you to reject me. Especially not the week before my 40th birthday!
That’s right, bank that shall not be named. You had the poor taste to break up with me just as I was about to turn 40. As if turning 40 alone isn’t traumatic enough on its own. You felt the need to rub salt in my wounds by breaking up with me when I was feeling my most vulnerable and my most fat.
You’re probably wondering why it took me so long to write this letter. You broke up with me three months ago and I’m just now getting around to writing this. You’re probably thinking if I was really hurt, I would have written right when it happened instead of waiting three months and then writing you. Well, honestly bank that shall not be named, you make a good point.
I did think about writing you sooner. But it was my birthday and I had to look up the definition of “open letter”. And then time got away from me and I just kind of forgot. But then I remembered and now I’m mad again. To be honest, I’m not even sure open letters are a thing anymore. That might have been more Summer/Fall, 2015 and it is winter, almost 2016 and all. But I don’t really care because I’m mad and I need you to know that I’m mad and an open letter seems like a good way to do that. Plus it would be a lot of work to Google a new kind of article and read the sentence or two it would take for me to become an expert in that form of writing. So we’re stuck with an open letter.
I’m not mad that our relationship is over. I’m just sad. I wouldn’t take you back now no matter how much you begged me. But, still, every time I see someone pull out one of your cards in a store, I feel a twinge of jealousy and wonder what’s so great about that cardholder that made it so that you were willing to make it work with them but not with me.
As I write this, I am sitting in my car, which is parked in the lot outside of your corporate headquarters. I have a pair of high powered binoculars because it’s the middle of the night and I can’t see anything without them. I should be at home sleeping but I can’t sleep and I can’t eat either. And it’s all because of you. Because of you, I can’t do anything but lay around and think about how sorry my life is now that you’re not in it.
The damage you’ve done to my heart (not to mention my credit score) could take years to heal. I hope you’re happy, bank that shall not be named. I may never be able to love another card again.
(AKA Former Card Holder of the credit card ending in 6155)