I wonder who you are — did we ever meet along my way to school, or you are currently one of my friends or does God have a better plan on when I’ll meet you? I wonder what do you do for living; did you already finish your studies while I am writing this or do our paths run parallel, struggling to make our dreams come true?
But I hope to meet you one day, maybe 2 or 3 years from now, maybe not. So I could give you all my time completely when we are together; because at this time, I can’t even manage my own schedule. Maybe in a few years, I can give you all my time, when I have time of my own. But I prefer to be independent for now. I used to want a relationship with no strings attached because I have so little time to myself, but then I realized the strings are what holds the relationship. That’s one of the reason why I want to meet you few years from now, not right this second.
You see, I can’t even decipher the thought of me being in commitment; I am not yet ready. I am afraid of meeting your family and friends I have tons of insecurities — enough to make me feel that I don’t deserve you. I hope you are getting what I mean here. By the time I meet you, maybe I’ll be equipped enough to commit myself to someone else. Someone for whom all the insecurities won’t matter, because I’ll be more secure by then, I hope.
Of course, I envy my friends who have their own lovers right now. I can see the glow in their eyes every time they talk about their boyfriends; how they had a fight and made up last night, or how they surprised them for no reason. But soon enough, I know that we’ll do far better than that, right? Soon enough, jealousy won’t matter because I have you.
I want you to meet my family and the rest of the clan. I’ll invite you along our family reunions and to meet my friends; they will surely like you because my friends waited for you, too. They always say that I if I ever have a boyfriend, he will be so damn lucky to have me. But I told them that it will be me who is lucky to have you. I want to meet your family, too; I hope they will like me. I’ll do anything it takes for them to like me. Because they are the people who made you happy when I hadn’t met you yet, who raised you so well and who made you into a person I’ll be forever grateful for having.
We’ll go on adventures together: sky diving, scuba diving, mountain climbing, and everything in between. It will all be so much better with you at my side, holding my hand. We’ll go on long drives, taking turns driving when the other person is tired. We’ll travel together; admire the beauty of the world starting from the north down to south and explore what the far reaches of the world have to offer. Or maybe during lazy days, we’ll read books together — or maybe you can handle my obsessive tendencies, and join me in cleaning the house, organizing the mess, doing the laundry, and ironing the clothes.
I want to look at you when we are 80 and say, “We made it through.”
I am stubborn and hard headed at times. I have a pride bigger than I am. No doubt, we will have fights and arguments. But please don’t ever get tired of me because of those. Because at the end of the day, seeing your face will make my anger melt, like ice put beside a raging fire.
You’ve probably been in love before I met you. But that’s okay, because I intend to be the last girl in your life. You’ve probably been hurt before I met you. I’m sorry I’m not there to comfort you and ease the pain. But no worries, I won’t do the same thing. I’ll do my best not to you hurt. And if ever I hurt you, I’ll make it up to you to the best way I can.
I have no idea of who you are, but that will not stop from wanting to meet you, from wanting to love you. Because no matter how long it takes, I hope you know you’re worth the wait.