This Is Why You Deserve To Stop Being A People-Pleaser

portrait girl poloroid eating ice cream on green wall summertime summer dress
@thechasekennedy

It took years for me to finally realize that I wasn’t born to be a people-pleaser. I’ve spent most of my days craving for people’s acceptance as I’ve always let them define me solely based on their shallow judgments. Day by day, I was losing myself along the way and I was becoming a little more like them rather than being my own self.

I believe that unconsciously, most of us live to seek validation and acceptance from other people as well. A human will always have a desire to be accepted by others as it is our way to survive.

But, being a people-pleaser is a choice and I’ve decided to stop being one.

I’m done being the one who desperately seeks people’s approval as I’ve learned that attention and affection should be given effortlessly. I’m done always giving my best to the people who don’t see my worth as they will always take me for granted. I will no longer fake myself to those who don’t even look genuinely towards me.

This is me letting go of my obsession of being accepted by other people.

From now on, I totally understand that whenever I need to please other people, it’s the sign that I’m not living my life with the right people. The right people will never force us to fake ourselves just for the sake of fitting in and that’s the sign that I need to move on.

I promise myself to be brave enough to cut the wrong people out of my life. From now on, I will be brave enough to leave the place where I don’t feel at home, quit the job which I actually hate doing, and leave those people who abuse my inner well-being.

I will no longer sacrifice my own happiness just to please other people as I’ve realized that I will never able to make everyone like me. Instead of chasing people’s approval, I’m going to focus on chasing my goals and giving my attention to those people who accept me as I am.

We are too focused and fixated on the job or the person that we want because we believe that there will never be another. Thus, we sacrifice our own happiness just to get the job and try our best to make some people stay in our lives. But, that’s definitely a wrong way to live since the truth is, there will always be another.

We need to remember that we actually always have countless choices and possibilities. Speak your heart if you don’t like the way they treated you, leave the job which doesn’t make you grow, and move out from the place which stresses you out every night. There will be another decent job, a kinder person, and a better place for you out there if only you are brave enough to leave.

Don’t be scared to leave the things which are toxic; there will be so many ways for us to have what we want without being a people-pleaser and sacrificing our own happiness. This is only a matter of choices and we have a right to choose our happiness above anything else. In the end, we can always choose what we want, but being a people-pleaser is absolutely not one of the choices to make. 

Remember that this is your life and you are worth more than other people’s acceptance. You are enough with or without their acceptance. TC mark

Rayi Noormega

I learn humans and I write about them.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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