Please Find Me After A Broken Heart

 Caleb Frith
Caleb Frith

I do believe that having a broken heart is something so painful yet precious to be felt. When I had a broken heart, I fully recognized myself as a human being. It was the sense which I was able to feel every nerve in my chest was aching, and I could hear the sounds of my heart shattered in pieces. The broken heart moment was my adventure of a lifetime and I’m proud of having it.

But don’t come closer when I have a broken heart, please find me after.

I want to be the best version of myself when I find my true love. I want you to see my healed scars and I don’t want you to become my savior during my battles.

I want you to see me as a warrior; the girl who saved herself and succeed to pursue her highest goals while she’s actually bleeding and hurting inside.

I want to experience every inch of the pain itself; let me feel the storm and its icy wind, the hopelessness and the depression, and the struggles to get through the lowest point of my life. I want to be found as a survivor.

I want my true love to see me as a whole person who is filled with passion. When I had a broken heart, I felt empty inside and no more sparks ignited from within. I don’t want you to see me while I was struggling to collect the rest of my passions to get through the day.

I want to be that girl who can find her own passion back after someone broke her heart. I want you to see me as the girl who never loses her energy while her heart was stolen. Let me fill my own emptiness.

I want to be found as the girl who is full of love. A broken heart will make me numb as its aftermath; I won’t feel a thing but pain. A broken heart will make me think twice about falling in love; I won’t even believe that true love does exist. I don’t want to meet you while I feel nothing, because I want to love you deeply. If I am able to love you deeply after I had a broken heart, it means that I have already confronted my own fear of getting hurt. Because in the end, I still want to be a hopeless romantic person; a girl who is ready to fall in love again although she knows it makes her vulnerable.

But you have to understand that I need time, a lot of times, to recover my trust and to have faith that true love is not a total bullshit. The broken heart gave me some memories of being in pain, which I will be haunted by it for a long period of time, and I don’t want to share those nightmares with you. Let me comprehend the meaning of pain, the shattered hearts, the tears, and the chaotic thoughts I had at 2 AM while I picked myself up after my heart was broken.

After I passed the critical period of a broken heart, I promise that you will find me the bravest girl you’ve ever met.

I want to be found as the girl who is content with herself. My self-worth and dignity will be at its lowest point after I had a broken heart. A broken heart will transform me into a dead girl walking; I won’t feel the warmth of the sun, the happiness behind each laughs that I did with my friends, and the feeling of fully being alive. I don’t want you to see me as the girl whose soul is not fully present when you talk about your deepest secrets.

I want to be found as a work of art. I want to be seen as the girl who has her own beautiful mess as the result of the bleeding love she had. When you find me, you will see a beautiful chaos within me, just like the gradation of the sky at dawn and the supernova which produced the brightest stars. Then, I will send the warmth from the thousand suns I have in my eyes right into your heart.

I want you to wait patiently until my heart is ready.

Please find me when I am strong enough to open myself again; to give trust, and to break down my own walls which protect my heart. Please don’t give up waiting for me; I am on my way to fix myself. Then, when we both are ready, I promise to give the best version of myself only for you. I will meet you halfway and you can have my heart completely, and you will be the only person who has my heart; without the risk of breaking it into parts. TC mark

Rayi Noormega

I learn humans and I write about them.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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