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Getting Engaged At 19

We had planned a pink and brown wedding. We certainly planned a lot of things, and I swear that I never just blindingly nodded my head to her dreams. They were my dreams too. I can safely say that the hardest thing I’ve ever done was break up with her. Insert joke about it being better to have “loved and lost”; insert heartfelt, nauseatingly optimistic assertion that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”…

Staring At Facebook All Day

Have a full-time job. The routine of being awake by 9:00 is a crucial first step on this path to obsessive time delineation. No one with the day off ever wastes their day staring at a computer – well, no one as cool you you. You must be good at your job. This doesn’t mean being prideful and snobby about it, just efficient.