“Chocolate chips! Eggs! Waffles! Ham! Bacon! All that shit! Deep-fried in beer batter, covered in Jack Daniels made with syrup!”
That’s what Canadian trio EpicMealTime’s “Breakfast of Booze” is made of. The “next-level breakfast maneuver” is the latest offering from the group’s weekly series of so-bad-they’re-kind-of-good, so-awful-they’re-kind-of-awesome YouTube cooking videos. It’s like a perverse, real life version of This Is Why You’re Fat. (Except they’re actually not fat at all. Not yet, anyway.)
This is how it works: the dudes of EpicMealTime cook up the grossest, most ridiculously, heartattackingly unhealthy meals (can they even be called meals?). And then they send themselves down a path towards multiple coronaries and adult-onset diabetes by eating their creations on camera. Previous episodes have featured “The Greasiest Sandwich Ever” and a Thanksgiving “bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig” that totaled 79,046 calories.
This week’s meal includes, among other monstrosities, ham wrapped in bacon deep-fried in beer batter (1,050 calories, 61g of fat), bacon cream cheese stuffed french toast dumplings (1,163 calories, 77g of fat), and cream cheese jalapeno sausage stuffed pancakes deep-fried in beer batter (1,452 calories, 63g of fat). “That’s fucked up,” by their own admission.
The “Breakfast Fortress,” with grand total of 15,709 calories and 1,005g of fat, is the equivalent of eating 15 Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers, or 29 BigMacs, or 223 Twinkies. For breakfast.
Seriously, though: how long before these guys get a cooking show on TLC?