I hear a lot of dating stories, specifically from men, where they say they fell in love with someone and months or even years later, they found out they were dating a complete crazy person. They got bamboozled. Their partner pretended to be a certain way to catch them and then revealed their true self; a heartless, narcissistic b*tch/a**hole and now they’re stuck there asking themselves, “Who the hell are you and what did I get myself into?”
You want to be sympathetic towards these folks because they were blinded by love, but I don’t feel bad for them. I just think they weren’t paying attention. Whether you’re together a few months, or years, things happen in people’s lives that will show you their character. They will either shine, or reveal themselves to be who they really are. When these examples/instances come up, they will show you their integrity, authenticity and their commitment in other places in their life. You just need to pay attention and I’m here to help you do that.
So here are 5 instances when a person’s character will reveal itself. Pay attention to how your partner acts in these types of situations and you’ll never get bamboozled again.
1. How do they treat their family and friends?
How do they show up for their family or friends? Are they supportive? Are they giving and helpful? Do they spend time with them? When they’re ill, do they take care of them and check in to make sure they’re doing ok? Are they kind? If they treat their family and friends badly or without compassion during their time of need, they will likely do the same with you eventually.
2. How do they talk about their ex?
Are they spiteful? Are they still angry? Do they only have bad things to say? This may be the way they talk about you one day. Was the demise of their previous relationships only the other person’s fault? Pay close attention to the answers.
3. What kind of parent are they?
If you’re dating someone with kids, the type of parent they are is a huge indicator on who they are as a person. Do they show up for their kids? Are they an active parent? Are their kids the most important thing in their life? Do they provide? If their own kids don’t come first, how will you ever come close to getting what you need?
4. How do they argue?
Do they freak out? Do they get overly emotional or very mean? Do they argue with you in public? That’s a huge no-no and a sign of disaster to come.
5. How do they deal with adversity at life and work?
Do they overreact? Are they super dramatic? Do they fall apart? Is the world ending? Do they deal with their adversity with grace, or do they get ugly? It’s ok to have a bad day, but do they get back up the next day and keep on going? This is how they’ll react to adversity in your relationship. If they like the drama, let them go!
What other key indicators or social situations should we pay attention to? Sound off in the comments.