You Helped Me Realize What I Do Deserve, By Treating Me Exactly The Way I Don’t Deserve

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

Fuck you for all the lies you told me. For all the words that you gritted off your mouth. For your empty promises of forever, for your empty promises of marriage. I was so skeptical about even having a future with you, considering our different status in life, but every day, for months, you made me believe that you were as honest and as loyal to me as I was to you.

Fuck you for having the audacity to be so disrespectful to me. You were the first boy I ever introduced to my world – my family, friends, social media. What I cannot wrap my head around is the utter lack of respect that you are showing to me right now. It’s fine to break up, to say the love is lost, but at least have the class to keep your new flame off of social media — for my sake.

Fuck you for taking for granted all the sacrifices I made for you. For not taking into consideration the fact that I stayed with you, despite all of your issues and misgivings. There were so many red flags, but I gave you pass after pass because you told me you would change, or that it was just a phase. I exerted so much effort to keep our relationship alive, and then you just spat it all out.

But, in spite of all this, I’m thankful for you.

Thank you for showing me your true colors early on, for showing me that you are a disrespectful and ungrateful little man child. Some people are just low quality cowards with no integrity. And although it pains me to say this, that is exactly who you are.

Thank you for exiting from my life as early and as heartless that you did. Now, you and your issues are not my problem anymore.

Thank you for being so immature that you could not even break up with me face to face. All those things about incompatibility that you mentioned? Now I know they were all lies. I know the truth is that you were just a cheater, and still are.

Thank you for hurting me so much, because now I know just how strong I am when faced with adversity. I have spent my days and nights trying to hold back tears, trying to forget all of our memories together. And yes, though sometimes I crumble, I always stand back up, because I have the best support system in the world.

Thank you for treating me so unfairly, for showing to me post-breakup how you never really loved and respected me. Because if you had respected me, if you had loved me, you wouldn’t be lashing out this way. Thank you for showing me how much you never really cared for me, and proving to me that my doubts were true – you only loved me for who I was on paper. Because when things got rough and it wasn’t convenient for you anymore, you bailed in search of the next big fish.

Thank you for making me realize what I deserve by showing me exactly what I do not deserve. Thank you for making me realize that I made the worst choice in you. Now, when I date again, I will never lower down my standards like I did with you. I will never make excuses and give passes for clearly bad behavior, and I will make sure that my next partner puts as much skin on the table as I do.

So to you, good riddance. I choose to forgive you, even though you have not asked for it (nor do you deserve it), because I want to heal. I want to let go of all the pain, bitterness, and hurt that you have brought in my life. I want to let go of you. Because when I’ve forgiven, I will be happy again. And you’ll be out of my life in every way. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog