It aches, sometimes. The thing about loving someone and then letting them go, is that it leaves an emptiness with you. There was this love, growing stronger with time and experiences, expanding inside you like a balloon. You let in someone else’s soul – their passions, perspectives and memories – and then when that love cracks, pops and breaks, there’s a hole.
The love was intense, beautiful and opening. The letting go was dulling. The space was huge and hollow. You fill it with yourself in an effort to find a new, unique and rarer love – self love. And oh my God, that’s a scarier relationship…but you might dare to say that it’s so much more rewarding.
The nights are colder when you’re alone, so you become attuned to the heat of your own heart. You find yourself remembering what it’s like to move independently of someone else’s opinion of you. So maybe the love pours back into yourself, filling in some of the cracks over time. It manifests into a freer love, a love that’s allowed to change and say to hell with predictability.
Maybe the love spills out onto the canvas of your choice. Maybe it refuses to apologize for being just what it is. Maybe it’s bright and glowing on some days, but bitter and selfish on others. Maybe it’s constantly falling apart so that it can build itself stronger every day. Maybe it makes room for new desires and new people. Maybe the love goes everywhere.