She’s not fragile. She’s not weak.
Regardless whether she thinks she got out at just the right time or a bit too late. She got out and right now that’s all that matters.
Trust me when I say, she wouldn’t have known the right time if it hit her in the head. She was stuck in a never-ending cycle of toxicity.
At one point in time she convinced herself that it took courage to stay and fight for the tiny glimmer of hope she kept seeing.
Two reality checks: First, it wasn’t a glimmer of hope – it was a light at the end of tunnel. And she had to get out of the tunnel to see it. Otherwise she was only going to see it at a distance incapable of ever reaching it.
Second, there’s nothing brave about staying in a relationship she knew she couldn’t save. She was staying in a situation where she had to pay her dignity on a daily basis.
That’s not courage.
Compromising her self-worth is never an act of bravery. He didn’t think so, and now she doesn’t think so either.
But there’s no shame in passing through a toxic relationship and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
The obvious reason would be that she wouldn’t know what she knows now but the less obvious reason is that she was able to get a tough-love lesson for her by her.
Choosing someone who doesn’t choose her, and loving someone who doesn’t love her taught her that she’s always her first love and her own first choice.
There’s no running away from this ever again.
And this lesson is priceless. So, here’s to the girls who got out of toxic relationships.
We’re the ones who are appreciative of good qualities, of the tiny acts of kindness, of the random words of support, of the gentle signs of love.
Because we were deprived and unfortunately, some of us longer than others.
So now, here’s how we live through love.
We embody the tenderness, love and grace we hope we receive. We never treat anyone in ways we wouldn’t like to be treated in return.
We never take our loved ones for granted because we know what it’s like to be lonely with someone. We appreciate their presence, we encourage it, and we honor it.
We never throw our words at someone without weighing them first because if anyone knows how hurtful words can be, it’s us.
But there’s another side to all this.
We’re also intolerant to any person who doesn’t appreciate us for who we are.
We can cut off any person who comes into our life with a sprinkle of negativity because we let go off who we thought we’d never let go off. So, this comes easier now.
We are now living with a heightened sense of self-awareness and whoever wants to be with us needs to put in the effort because that’s what we do. We’re all about the effort. All about the meaningful arguments, the tough conversations, and always about the politeness behind all of it.
We have a strict no bullshit policy. We can smell manipulators from miles away. And we’re passing on that, today and forever. We’ve had our fair share and we own our own minds now.
We learned to accept people just the way they are. We’ve grown fond of raw and unguarded love. We see beyond the masks because we wore plenty of them. Sometimes, to cover our strengths and other times to cover our weaknesses.
We don’t play the victims. We even despise the word. It sounds helpless and we’re not helpless. We got out of a situation which didn’t suit us. This is the opposite of being helpless.
So yes, go ahead and love a girl who has passed through a toxic relationship.
She fought, she endured, and she stood up for herself.
She appreciates the basic elements of a relationship way more than you can imagine. If healthy, respectful and consistent is what you’re looking for then love the girl who got herself out of a toxic relationship.