Just So You Know, Having Expectations In A Relationship Doesn’t Make You Needy

woman kissing man on head while sitting on bench
Almos Bechtold / Unsplash

You want the truth? You hear all that talk about having no expectations so you’re never let down, right?

Out of fear of disappointment, you don’t want to expect anything. Everyone who loves you will also support this radically protective decision of yours at one point.

In love, most importantly, we are always shielding ourselves from the daydreams and the fairy tales. Because, what if?

What if… a million things.

See, here’s the thing about not having expectations. I’ll try to put it in simple words.

It’s a big fat lie.

There’s no such thing. Yeah sure, you can tell your friends that you’re playing it cool and expect nothing.

You can show your partner day in day out that you expect nothing from them. But there’s one person you won’t be able to lie to: and that’s you.

Deep down, we all know our worth and we recount everything we give in a relationship which makes it impossible not to have a shred of hope that we’ll get at least just that in return.

So, be selective with the relationship advice you’re getting because ‘no expectations’ is not the key to happiness. Don’t rationalize love. Don’t boil it down to an equation.

If I could give my two cents on what the key to happiness would be in a relationship, then I would go for the idea of endless possibilities.

Possibilities, tons of them, limitless and endless. This is what should keep you going.

Not the fear of disappointment, but rather the fear of not taking a chance.

You will be let down at some point and you will face the biggest disappointments. But you move on.

Having expectations means you’ve known you deserved better the whole time but you took a chance.

Expectations teach you to never run away or hide. Ever again. They teach you to look disappointment right in the eye. Feel it to your core. Let it envelop you. Confront it head-on. Accept it and act on it.

Sometimes, it teaches you that you deserve better and so you must leave.

Other times, expectations surprise you. They prove to you that your fear is unjustifiable and you can never experience a more liberating feeling if you don’t change your perception of it.

Basically, here’s what I’m trying to say:

Don’t be with the person you’re afraid of expecting anything from, be with the person who exceeds your expectations. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

A Complete Guided Journal For Healing Your Own Life

This is your life.

You are the only one who decides how it goes.

Click Here
Just So You Know, Having Expectations In A Relationship Doesn’t Make You Needy is cataloged in ,