If You Can’t Embrace Being Single You’re Never Going To Find A Fulfilling Relationship

A woman sits on a bed with an open book, holding a mug and her cell phone
BRUNO CERVERA / Unsplash

It has always been a sort of mission: go out and find someone who completes you. There are movies, books, and magazines built on the idea of finding the perfect relationship.

There are times where we can’t say we’re single without being asked “why?” like we’re at a disadvantage in life.

We have more people pushing us to open ourselves up to the possibility of finding someone rather than telling us that what matters more is finding yourself and learning what you want first.

We have more friends and family members teaching us how to fight to make something work despite all difficulties rather than teaching us when to walk away.

Walking away is the most under-taught lesson of our time. We are built to think that all these ideal relationships we aspire to have are the result of an endless fight on both ends to keep it going and because of this, we think a million times before leaving.

We are afraid to leave a relationship prematurely and this leaves us only making it a million times more difficult on ourselves when we walk away. Fighting for something we know is dying doesn’t make us fighters, it makes us prisoners.

We are more inclined to buy the books on how to get the man or the lady rather than the self-empowering ones which can actually teach us a thing or two about the importance of building a life you don’t want to escape from every now and then.

There’s this fear of being lonely. This built-in terror alarm that goes off every time we remember that we don’t have that one person who we share our days and nights with.

But we fail to realize that falling into something to try and conquer this fear makes us start a relationship on a terribly wrong basis.

We fall in love or so we think, just so we can fall out of our fear of being single.

This means we don’t fall in love because we just do because there are no words to describe how or why it happened, because it has left us speechless in the best way.

No, on the contrary, if we think hard enough we know exactly why we’ve fallen. Most tales have it that the person was a temporary escape from our dreadful thoughts of being alone.

No one catches you when you fall this way. That’s the problem.

It’s not all doom and gloom though, because when it finally hits you – when you ask yourself: why was I with this person to begin with? Why did I ever give it a chance?

When you disappoint yourself with your own answers, it’s only then that you realize you’re ready to embrace being single until you are able to give yourself the answers you accept and are proud of.

Choosing a person to fall into because you’re incapable of catching yourself simply means you’re selling yourself short. Chances are: that person will never be good enough. TC mark

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Rasha Abou Dargham is from the mountains of Lebanon, and has been keeping and shredding diaries since she was 7 years ... Read more articles from Rasha on Thought Catalog.