Do you know how I’ll get over this? I won’t leave myself to crash and burn. I will not leave room for self-destruction.
For the first time ever, I will face it all head on. I won’t run from anything.
I will cry and I will talk to friends. I will vent and I will slam doors when I feel like it.
It won’t be smooth but it’ll pass. It won’t be an easy ride but I’ll make my way through it.
There’s no suppressing any feelings. I will not smother myself with silence like I always do. Instead I will remind myself every minute that it’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to feel like your heart is going through a thousand rips per second. It’s okay to have racing thoughts for days in a row. And it’s okay to be paranoid for a while.
No, it’s not pleasant, but why should another human break me? Why would they ever have such power over me?
What’s broken by a person, can be fixed by a person.
It doesn’t take more than acceptance and self-love. This is what I owe myself every day.
Why should I wait for someone to show me what it’s like to be cared for? To be appreciated? Things would be much different if that’s what I show myself day in, day out. I’m in this rut because I was incapable of appreciating myself in the first place.
There’s no promising that I won’t go through this again. The promise is that I’ll get out of it stronger every time.
I might not realize this when we’re going through the pain, but I can simply write myself a letter of empowerment and read it whenever I’m in need of a reminder.
I’ll go on a retreat. I’ll travel. I’ll write. I’ll love again. Or not. As long as I never forget that it will pass. Everything always does.
Yes I’ll blame myself over and over again for being reckless with my heart. I will skip nights of sleeping and I will skip days to sleep. Everything comes with a price. But it’s never the end of the world.
I’m about to get heartbroken and that’s okay.
I’m about to feel like all the walls are closing in and that’s okay.
It’s about to start in 3, 2, 1… and that’s not okay. But it will be.