I learned love, I learned patience, I learned silence, I learned strength. I learned all that is good in me from the women in my life. There were few good men too, who showed the harsh realities and opened my eyes to the world outside of me. Men live looking outside in. Women live looking inside out. Different perspectives and different lessons learned.
As I sit down and think about all the women in my life – from my mom and sister to all the friends, the lovers and the rest – I can clearly say I have met many different personalities.
But deep down, somehow, they are all the same; when they love you, they really, truly love you. If their whole heart is in something, they give it their all. I have been lucky to have been loved and cared for in such a way. But being a man, I have many a times screwed up the relationship. I have pushed many away when I wasn’t comfortable sharing my space or when I felt I was clueless as to where things were leading to. One always want to stay in control and command the way things need to flow.
When I knew that I couldn’t do it, I would just put an end to it and closed the door forever on them.
Despite me being the way I am, easily irritable, easily insecure, easily depressive and most likely an escapist and a dreamer, with too strict views of the idealistic world and relationships contrasting with the pushover that I am, I have been loved.
And it’s a miracle!
One of my most favorite actors Audrey Hepburn once said, ‘When you love someone with all his faults, it is not chance, it is choice.’ These women cared enough for me to love me with all my faults, my irregularities and my shortcomings. It was their choice and I am humbled by their love. I don’t know how to show them my gratitude and my love back.
I am not wired that way. Because of which, I have several times inevitably ended up hurting them. So, whenever I have been really touched by a gesture or moved by their words, I have remained silent. For I don’t know how to react.
I have shown my love with the little things I can do – a letter, a poem, a sketch or a painting. Even though little things make up the world, sometimes, little things are just not enough. So, today I take time out to thank you all for your love. Especially to the one above.
I Love You.