I’ve realized that those who want to be in your life will make the effort, will communicate, will show up for you and you will know one way or another that they care. You won’t be doubting whether or not they care or if they appreciate you or if they truly want to be there for you. Many people say they care and they will always be there for you but when you truly need them, they won’t, they will disappear or come up with an excuse.
In both friendships and relationships, you can always tell the difference between those who want to stay in your life and those who are looking for the nearest exit. The problem with us when we love someone or care about them, we don’t want to believe what we see. We want to believe that this is just who they are only to discover that they show up differently with other people, they’re not as cold with their other friends, they end up doing what they said they’d never do. They end up being the complete opposite of who they were with you and that’s when you know that it’s not who they are, it’s just who they chose to be with you.
Because here’s what these people will do to you, they won’t make the same excuses for you as you make for them, they won’t let the little things go as you do, they won’t give you that many chances and they won’t fight for your friendship or your love. If this is you, please stop. Please stop rewarding these behaviors, please stop tolerating inconsistency or abuse. Please stop tolerating games, lies and manipulation. Please stop rewarding the people who keep hurting you. They don’t deserve your forgiveness or your love or your understanding. They don’t deserve the space you hold for them in your heart and in your life. They don’t deserve all these compromises. They simply won’t do the same for you.
Sometimes we get caught up in our emotions that we forget to stop and think about what we’re seeing or how these people make us feel. The friend who constantly makes you feel like you can’t be yourself because they will flip out if you don’t agree with them. The partner who doesn’t meet your needs and doesn’t want to talk about it with you. Anyone in your life who is waiting for one single slip up from you so they can distance themselves or stop talking to you. These are the people you should hold the door open for because you will never be the person who is going to beg someone to be in your life or beg someone to see you or hear you. You will never be the person who forces someone to see your worth.
Please stop rewarding the people who keep hurting you. Stop allowing them to make you feel sorry for yourself. Stop forgiving them. Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt. Stop coming up with excuses for their misdeeds. Stop allowing them to make you feel like you don’t matter and please stop feeling guilty for setting boundaries with them or cutting them out of your life. Stop rewarding them for hurting you because they will keep coming back for more.