You Don’t Deserve To Be Someone’s Backup Plan

You didn’t grow up watching all those romantic movies, living all those childhood fantasies and writing all those songs and poems for your imaginary lover only to end up being someone’s backup plan or second choice. You didn’t get your heart broken way too many times only to end up being an option. You didn’t move on from your past lovers and lost all these tears or fought your innermost desires and temptations only to end up with someone who doesn’t make you feel loved or wanted. You didn’t spend all these years learning to love yourself and make it on your own so you can end up with someone who doesn’t choose you or make you a priority.

You don’t deserve to be someone’s backup plan no matter how much you love them or how much they mean to you. You don’t deserve to be loved occasionally or be with someone who’s only available when they want to be. It doesn’t matter how much work you still need to do to become a better person, it doesn’t matter how bad your previous experiences were and it doesn’t matter how great you think this person is, you don’t deserve to be with someone who neglects you and convinces you that it’s normal.

Too many good hearts fall for that kind of people. Too many strong ones end up with people who use them. Too many loyal people get taken advantage of or strung along by someone who’s unsure or still paying the field, but just because so many people are okay with it doesn’t mean you have to accept it. You don’t deserve to be someone’s rebound. You shouldn’t stay with someone knowing that they’re thinking about someone else and you definitely shouldn’t stay hoping that you can make them forget. It’s not your job, it never was and it never will be.

If this is what it comes down to, being with someone who treats you like a backup plan or being alone. Be alone because the pain of being alone is a lot easier to handle than the pain of being with someone who doesn’t see you, who neglects you, who doesn’t care about you, who doesn’t pay attention to your wants or needs and who doesn’t understand when you’re hurting or when you’re upset. You don’t deserve someone who makes you feel unloved. You don’t deserve someone who is sometimes consistent, sometimes sweet, sometimes attentive and the other times absent.

You don’t deserve to be with someone who has a lot more offer and a lot more to give but is choosing to hold back with you. You don’t have to change anyone or convince anyone of your worth either, you just have to know that you deserve better, throw in the towel and leave with your head held high.

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Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me. Follow Rania on Instagram or read more articles from Rania on Thought Catalog.

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