Sometimes you have to say no to the things that drain you and the people who mishandle you. You have to speak up when something isn’t right and raise your voice when you’re being accused of something you didn’t do. Sometimes no is not always the nicest thing to say but it’s the right thing to say.
‘No’ is not just for objection but it’s also for protection. It protects you from being lied to. It protects you from being with the wrong people. It protects you from your temptations and shortcomings. It saves you from being stuck on ‘maybe.’
Sometimes no is enough. It doesn’t need to be followed by clarifications or explanations or lies or excuses. It’s a definite answer. It reflects your boundaries and your standards. It’s part of your evolution. The collection of lessons you picked up; the things you believed because you were too naive or the things you let go of because you were too forgiving or the number of times you broke your own heart by staying longer than you should with the wrong people, by missing all the red flagsmand by thinking that love alone can change them.
I’m learning how to say no more often because I know better. I know that one yes can flip your life upside down. I know that maybe is the worst word to be hung up on because it’s just too brittle and it’s never going to give you the results you’re looking for or the answers you need. Sometimes you have to say no because it’s the only word that can stop you from heartbreak or betrayal or manipulation.
And sometimes ‘no’ is the perfect testament to how much you love yourself. How you’re willing to disappoint others because you are taking care of yourself. How you’re putting your foot down instead of agreeing to things that you don’t believe in. How you’re strong enough to deal with the consequences after you say no even if it means being alone. It shows how you’re willing to fill your cup first before you can serve others.
And sometimes ‘no’ is all you can say. When someone mistreats you, when someone walks in and out of your life, when someone treats you like you don’t matter and when someone doesn’t value you, all you can say is no. No to anything that doesn’t make you happy. No to anyone who doesn’t embrace your vulnerability or your heart and no to yourself when you forget what you deserve, when you’re thinking about compromising your happiness or your beliefs for someone else. Because you can be kind and loving and still say no. No is a definite answer. No means I’m not falling for that crap again.