“Expectations ruin everything. They’re the cause of all frustrations. Don’t expect anything from anyone. No expectations, no disappointments.”
But is it really possible not to expect anything from someone you care about? Is it really possible to keep giving without expecting at least, something in return? Unless you’re an angel, it’s human nature to expect and want to be treated the way we treat others. It’s human nature to want the ones we care about to meet our expectations because we are also willing to meet theirs.
While people keep telling me to always expect less or nothing at all, I’m always looking for the opposite. I want someone who has expectations from me. I want someone who expects me to do things and show up and treat them with love and respect.
I want someone who expects me to be loyal, committed and present. I want someone who has high expectations from me and is not willing to compromise that.
Expecting less is actually offensive to me. Offensive to my giving heart. Offensive to my unwavering loyalty. Offensive to my honest standards.
Expectations push away the wrong ones and the ones who are not ready but anyone who truly cares about you will have expectations and will be upset when you don’t meet them. Anyone who truly wants you will also ask you about your expectations and try to meet them.
Anything else is just a cop-out for someone to get away with not investing, get away with playing the field, get away with keeping you around without fully committing to you.
Because if you don’t have expectations and high ones too, then you’re also not totally into that person. If you’re okay with minimal effort and playing it cool and being chill all the time, then there’s no passion, there’s no chemistry and you’re not afraid to lose that person.
I’m not talking about unrealistic or crazy expectations, I’m talking about the small things, like someone being there for you when you need them, someone trying to make you happy or trying to spend more time with you, someone listening to you, someone freeing their time to hang out with you and someone taking a fair chance on you instead of losing you just because you have expectations.
And honestly, if your expectations scare away that person, then you’re better off without them. If someone can’t give you at least half of what you’re willing to give, then you don’t need that kind of energy in your life.
You want to be with someone who doesn’t shame you for your expectations. And you want someone who expects the same for you. Someone who wants you to invest in them too because they can’t stand the thought of you investing in someone else or someone else could be meeting your expectations and they’re falling short.
It’s okay to have expectations. It’s okay to communicate them. And it’s okay if someone can’t meet them, it means that you’re not on the same page and it means that someone else is and they’ll meet you halfway without any confusion, disappointment, frustration or one-sided efforts.