It Doesn’t Surprise Me Anymore When Things Fall Apart

It doesn’t surprise me anymore when people disappoint me. When they say things they don’t mean and break their promises. When they leave without giving a good reason. When they run away before getting closer.

It surprises me when they stay. When they show up. When they communicate. When they’re not afraid to show they care.

It doesn’t surprise me anymore when people take me for granted. When they only take the validation they need from me and then disappear. When they’re constantly looking for something better. When they don’t appreciate what I do for them.

It surprises me when they say thank you. When they reciprocate the same kindness. When they appreciate the effort. When they’re thoughtful. When they show you what you mean to them. When they tell you that you matter to them.

It doesn’t surprise me anymore when things fall apart. When things crumble too soon. When things end prematurely. When the smallest things can cause the biggest destruction. When giving up is better than trying. When forgetting people is cooler than remembering them.

It surprises me when people stick around and try to fix things. When they make things grow instead of ruining them. When they try to stay. When they don’t let go. 

It doesn’t surprise me anymore when people hurt me. The closest people to my heart. The ones I love. The ones I care about. I get it. Everyone is dealing with their own pain. Everyone is trying to figure their own life out. Everyone is selfish and trying to do what’s best for them. Everyone is not attentive unless they need something for you.

That’s why it surprises me when people make me feel safe. When they choose kindness and forgiveness over hostility. When they choose to be warm and loving instead of cold and distant. When they choose to help me instead of trying to avoid any responsibility. When they don’t view relationships as ‘pressure.’

It doesn’t surprise me anymore. The games. The mixed signals. The flightiness. The chaos. The heartache. It really doesn’t. I’ve become immune to all of it. I’ve become stoic.

It surprises me when someone brings me back to life and makes it okay to feel again. It surprises me when someone comes along and inspires me to embrace my emotions instead of forcing me to curb every single one of them. It surprises me when people come around and try to mend things instead of breaking them.