I don’t think enough people understand the whole concept of ‘putting yourself out there.’ They think it means going out and meeting new people or going on a lot of dates and adventures but the truth is you could be doing all of that and still feel empty. Still feel heavy. Still feel like your heart is not ready to let someone in. Your mind is not ready for the wave of thoughts that come with meeting someone new. You could be going out every night and still feel disconnected from everyone and I speak from experience.
And that’s when I realized that putting yourself out there actually starts within. Putting yourself out there only works when you work from the inside out.
It starts with making peace with yourself and the past. With the heartbreak and the rejection. With everything that ruined your idea of love or maybe made you give up on it. It starts with forgiving yourself for your mistakes and your choices and starting a new painless chapter.
It starts with sending a message without the fear of not getting a response and seeing the best in people again. It starts with being hopeful instead of fearful. It starts with remembering how healthy and mature communication works. It starts with giving everyone a fair shot instead of comparing them to the ones who broke your heart.
It starts with knowing your worthy of love even if you haven’t found it. Even if it’s been years. Even if it keeps eluding you. It starts with believing in your heart and how generous and big it is and how soft and kind it is and how it’s strong and healing on its own and how it will always be ready for the right kind of love.
It starts with accepting yourself and being true to yourself with others. It starts with forgetting the rules or what you think someone else wants and remembering who you are. It starts with believing that someone will love you with your flaws and imperfections. Someone will stay no matter how difficult life gets. Someone will listen to everything you were embarrassed to tell. Someone will be the best friend you needed and they will prove to you how loyal they are and they will always choose you.
Once you know who you are inside, it will be easy to put yourself out there.
Putting yourself out there shouldn’t feel like work. It shouldn’t be a result of peer pressure or boredom or loneliness. It should be a result of a lot of self-reflection, a lot of healing, a lot of introspection so you can put your heart out there again knowing that whatever the outcome may be, you’ll be fine. You’re no longer broken. You’re no longer at war with yourself.