We’re All A Little Broken So Don’t Try To Find Someone ‘Whole’

Pietra Schwarzler

We keep putting so much emphasis on finding someone whole because we don’t need anyone to complete us, because we’re whole on our own, but the truth is we’re not and maybe we’ll never be but that’s okay because the people you meet will be a little broken too and instead of tearing each other apart for what life has done to us, maybe we can try to love each other with all our brokenness instead of trying to find someone whole. Maybe this is how we heal each other.

Maybe we should love each other when we’re lost because we would all like someone to stand by us through our journey and let us know that they’re going to be there until we figure it out because that’s when we truly need support but we don’t want to admit it. That’s when we truly need someone by our side but we’re afraid of showing our weaknesses and that’s when we need someone to believe in us because it helps us believe in ourselves.

Maybe we should love each other when we’re not our best selves because we all secretly want to know that someone will love us when we’re not perfect, when we mess up, when we need to work harder on ourselves because it motivates us to see our potential, it inspires us to be better for someone else because if someone can love us when we’re not feeling great about ourselves, it makes us want to be great for them. It propels us to work on ourselves because that person deserves to see the best in us. That person is bringing out the best in us because they make us feel accepted. They give us hope. They help us see our light.

Maybe we should try to consider deeper qualities instead of seeing how good someone is ‘on paper.’ Like how they’re fighting their battles and how they’re choosing to cope with their pain. Like the way they talk about the things they love and how passionate they are about them. Like the dreams they have and how they’re trying to make them happen. Like the way they still believe in a beautiful universe when the world hasn’t been very kind to them. Like the way they still believe in love even after the ones they loved walked away from them.

Maybe we’ll never be whole and we’ll never find someone whole and it’s just an excuse we keep using to buy ourselves time or choose not to suffer or take the easy way out because we don’t want to get hurt. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism we keep using because we don’t want someone to see how broken we really area or leave us once they know that we’re not the people we’re pretending to be.

Maybe being whole is just an illusion we created to escape the chains of the demons we have to face when we open up to someone or let them in.

And maybe it won’t end up the way you want it to, maybe that person will not love all your broken pieces, but just imagine how beautiful it would be if they did. Imagine never having to hide parts of yourself again. Imagine someone loving everything you hate about yourself. Imagine someone loving your story so much to a point where they want to be a solid character in it.

And maybe we need to be that person for ourselves first before we become that person to someone else. Maybe when we can love ourselves when we’re broken, we can understand how important it is to love someone who is still mending their own pieces. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

Keep up with Rania on Instagram

More From Thought Catalog