I was never a fan of long-distance or distance in general. I liked keeping people close to me. I liked being around the ones I loved all the time. I loved sharing my space with the ones who mattered to me. But life doesn’t always keep the ones you love close to you because nothing tests the strength of your relationships or friendships more than distance. If you can survive long-distance, you can survive anything.
And even though distance is one of the hardest tests, it’s one of the most important tests because it shows you how people really feel when they’re surrounded by distractions, other people, a new life without you in it. It shows you if your absence will truly be felt, if that person will truly miss you or if you’re just another person they got attached to out of convenience.
And that’s when I learned that I wasn’t important to you because the moment you said goodbye, your heart was already on its way to moving on. It was on its way to forgetting me. And for the longest time, I blamed the distance. I blamed fate. I blamed the circumstances but I couldn’t get myself to blame you. I couldn’t admit that maybe it wasn’t so much about distance but more about you being distant. The distance you created. The distance you enjoyed.
But now I’m thankful for your distance. I’m glad you picked distance over me because it taught me that I can live without you. It taught me that I can love after you. It taught me that some departures are really blessings in disguise.
Your distance was a blessing to me because it showed me that I was settling with you. It showed me that I also didn’t know what’s best for me because being around you made me happy but I never paid attention to the way you treated me. I never paid attention to the list of things you always put before me. I never noticed that I was losing myself by staying with you. Your distance was a blessing because it taught me that distance isn’t something to be feared. That with the right person, distance won’t matter.
It taught me that if a person wants to be with you, no miles or distance or time zones will get in the way. It taught me the difference between someone who wants to make something work and someone who is looking for the first excuse to quit.
Your distance was a blessing because I learned how to fill the void you left with more important things like art, self-love, soul-searching, and solitude. I learned that I’m a person worth loving and I shouldn’t sell myself short for anyone. Your absence taught me more things about myself than your presence ever did. Your absence was the beginning of me finding myself. Your absence was the beginning of me learning to distance myself from people like you.
Your distance was a blessing, your presence was the curse.