I Want To Know What It’s Like To Feel Again

By

I want to know what it’s like to feel again.
I want to know what it’s like
to hear someone’s words
without doubting them.
Hear someone tell me I’m beautiful
without calling them a liar.
I want to know what it’s like to believe again
that maybe this time could be different,
that people are not the same
and happy endings still exist.
I want to know what it’s like to surrender
to the way someone looks at me,
to their soft words and their sweet laughs,
to their honest stories and lousy jokes,
to everything they’re showing me.
I want to surrender to all of that
without thinking that it’s just an act
without waiting for the curtain call
without knowing how it will end.
I wish there was a way to stop my mind
from drifting away from you.
I wish there was a way to stop my heart
from pulling in the reins.
I wish there was a way to mend
all the broken pieces before you.
I wish there was a button I can push
that switches everything I know
and start over with you.
I wish I could look you in the eyes
and tell you I’m ready
but that would be a lie.
and I’m a bad liar.