You’re Not Ungrateful If You Miss Having Someone In Your Life

Benjamin Voros

Why do people give you a hard time when you say that you miss having someone in your life? Why do they keep telling you to count your blessings and focus on all the good things in your life, as if the mere thought of missing someone or wanting someone is suddenly a blasphemous act of ingratitude?

It’s possible (and totally normal) to have a good life, a thriving career, great friends but still feel empty at times, still feel a void that you can’t figure out how to fill. It’s possible to be grateful and long for something more simultaneously. Why does it have to be either/or?

I’m tired of people making me feel guilty for my feelings. I’m tired of people calling me ungrateful when I wish I had someone with me in a certain place or a certain occasion and I’m tired of people asking me to appreciate what I have now before it’s gone. Why do they assume that I don’t already appreciate what I have?

You can appreciate everything you have and be thankful for your life but still miss being with someone who makes your life better, brighter and more exciting.

You can be living a vivid life but still feel like there’s a shade of darkness you can’t really subdue. There’s something inside you that makes you feel that there’s potential for a much happier life and a better state of mind. A potential for a more euphoric experience. And that’s just part of our nature.

It’s not a crime to miss having someone even if you have a good life. It’s not a crime to want the best moments in your life to be shared with someone who shows you a more beautiful side of the world. 

Why do people always think we need love only when we’re miserable? We need love all the time. We need love whether we’re happy or sad. We need love because love makes us better people and brings so much joy to our lives — more joy that what we’re possibly experiencing.

Stop calling people unappreciative or ungrateful when they tell you they wish they had someone by their side. Stop making people feel bad for wanting more when you think they have enough. Stop making people feel guilty for wanting to have the best of both worlds.

Let them dream. Let them seek to live a fuller life. Let them pray for bliss. Let them ask for the things they need even if you think it’s too much. God is generous. The universe is limitless and it favors those who believe. It favors those who believe in miracles. It favors those who ask for what they truly want while they remain happy with what they’ve got. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.


Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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